Recently, I watched a YouTube video about a young woman who "vlogged" her coming out. I had never watched this woman before, the video just came up on my feed. It was quite an emotional piece. The woman is a lot younger than me, but two things came to my mind while watching. 1. Holy Crap! Here is this really young, attractive (not trying to be creepy here), probably relatively well off, popular woman (apparently she is some judge on a fasion show? I know nothing about fashion so I was unaware as to who she is.) who obviously struggled tremendously with this decision to come out. It seems, at least portrayed in the media (my perception anyways) that this doesn't really happen anymore. I get the impression that the younger generations just feel more at ease and are more comfortable with expressing their true sexuality. In fact I have read several articles about the "novel idea" of presenting LGBT characters "as they are" because that is the way it should be and not emphasizing their "coming out of the closet" because there should be no closet. The problem being of course it is completely ignoring a section of people who are still having a hard time "coming out". So, has it gotten easier for someone to truly express their sexuality? And, with media of all kinds so crucial in society these days, how does the changing portrayal of LGBT folk impact society? (or does it) 2. One thing that this woman mentioned that rang true with me was when she said that the life that she was living in her head was finally matching up to the one that she was REALLY living. Lightbulb! Granted, I have a fantastic imagination and what I imagine happening will most likely never occur, but what if another similar version could occur? How do I get to that point? How do I bring the vision of what I want my life to be out of my head and into reality?
I think as you get to the point where not telling is more painful than telling you will get there. I've recently come out to another friend or two because of that. Hiding that part of myself became more stressful than sharing it. I am still largely in the closet, but the people I'm closest to know (besides my family), and if I am ever in a situation where I begin to date women, I will let them know as they need to know.
I a, not so sure it has gotten easier. I do believe the environment has evolved where more people are willing to open up; but not sure it's necessarily easier for someone to do so.
MMM... The way I see it. It is very clear that living as an openly gay person and having a succesful life has gotten much easier, specially for the younger generation. I have a gay uncle and my environment is radically different than when he was my age. BUT, as OntheHighway said, admitting to yourself your sexuality is still almost as difficult. The shame and fear every person fears before coming out the first time is still there. And it will be there as long as parents expect their kids from to be straight and hidding gay people. As long as gay relationships are hidden from kids (I didn't know anyone gay in realife until I was 15) and as long as gay people are treated as less ( yes, sportsworld, I am looking at you) However, I also think that little by little all of this is changing and I am optimistic about the future.
For me coming out isn't easy. I come from a very conservative Christian family so I'm still in the back of the closet. Living there, while painful, seems easier than dealing with judgment from family. Oh by the way I'm married with 3 kids so that's even harder. I don't want my kids to be ridiculed because of me.
It sort of depends on where you are. In some parts of some countries, coming out is achieved somewhat easily and without much stress. In other parts, it's still a major to-do. And it's not necessarily where you might think. I know somebody in rural Iowa who came out without incident at age thirteen....and a man who is still struggling to come out to anybody at age 25 in Portland Oregon. Lex
This is interesting. I guess I've always assumed it would be easier to "be gay" in the city than it would be in the country. I'm not trying to be flippant or trollish, it's just that being from an extremely rural, small town I honestly cannot imagine being completely out here. I guess what I'm trying to get a handle on is if the perception that is being broadcast (one of change and acceptance and I guess to a certain degree "normalcy") is actually reality or are we broadcasting an image of what we (as a society) hope to become?
I do believe that it has gotten a lot easier. Society is much more tolerant and accepting now. I have friends who tell me stories about being beaten by the police for going to a gay bar in the 1950's...coming out to yourself is sometimes the hardest part.
I feel that the American culture has become more accepting of the LGBTQ community over the past 30 years, which makes coming out easier. The stigma of HIV/AIDS has decreased, there's more acceptance of LGBTQ, and we have gay marriage in many states. This shows progress, but as discussed in other threads, this is just the tip of the iceberg. For me the lightbulb went on when I changed my identification from "bisexual with strong samesex attraction" (what a mouthful) to "gay". For me, this was capitulation and acceptance of my true self. All resistance and fear around "gay" (and the other offensive variations for that matter) evaporated. This brings a lens and clarity to my life. I had found my true nature, and I now feel proud. I'm also finding that I'm getting more and more irritated by bisexual men who try to convince me not to come out with all kinds of self-righteous bullshit. Because of this acceptance, I no longer fear coming out to people. Sure coming out to my wife will be difficult, but it's a conversation I want to have. I'm tired of pretending to be someone I am not.
