I only came to terms with being gay when I hit 20 I was confused all the way into my teenager years until the age of 20, I'm 21 now. I feel so alone I feel like I should have known I liked other woman from childhood accept I didn't know. and everyone around me would have just assumed I was straight, I liked chasing boys (because others told me to chase them) And young me believed it was funny. And I thought I liked boys also, until I got older and understood what's under the pants, And until I hit the phase of noticing I enjoyed being around woman more. I had signs around me accept I didn't see the signs because they where covered up with my ignorance of not caring about the world around me and trying to follow others foot steps. I didn't question me even being different then others until I got into high school (teenage years) and even then I didn't know, I tried dating 2 men and everything. I believed I liked them acted like I liked them looked like I liked them only to find out I didn't have a sexual attraction to them, I was just curious. But still didn't know I had a feeling at that point, but I didn't know for sure I questioned it with others but didn't know. Then at 20 it hit me I like girls i'm putting a close friendship into love and even if i'm not 100% sure on this still I know I like woman so I don't really focus on it anymore. Am I alone for taking so long to know myself?
From the little you've written, it sounds like you may be bi-sexual, i.e. attracted to both male and female. Believe it or not, being bi indicates a balanced emotional nature which most folks don't have. Now, what to do about it? I think you need to have a long talk with your self to determine what you want out of life. Do you want family, children and all that goes with being married to a woman. Your still young so you don't have to make up your mind today. Think about it. Read up on it. Maybe see a therapist on married life and what you would be experiencing. As for finding someone, if you have religious affiliations, get involved and start looking. Gay on the other hand is going to be a little more difficult. Finding a stable relationship with another man can be daunting. Forget finding someone your own age. My suggestion is to look for someone a few years older who has been around the block a few times, realizes the futility of one night stands and is prepared for a very long term relationship and all that it entails. Don't wait for destiny to come along - make your own.
Hi Midnightstar, You are not alone! I had experiences with my bff in high school, but I didn't integrate being bisexual until last summer when I saw her again for an extended time and had all my old feelings for her return. It takes different people different amounts of time. Go easy on yourself, and take all the time you need. You can have a long term relationship (and kids) with people of either gender/sex in many places (you don't say where on Earth you reside ), so I wouldn't stress about that too much. Try to figure out what you want in a person you want in your life (ie qualities you like in a romantic partner) and the type of relationship you want (long/short term, casual/serious, open/closed, etc) without worrying as much about the person's sex/gender.
No i'm not attracted to men I was saying my childhood or why I did things like that my reasons were a lot stranger then others. But i'm gay I confused friendship with men with love. ---------- Post added 16th Jun 2015 at 08:28 AM ---------- I'm gay,(but female I just use genderfluid because I switch) I know what I am I just feel like because I reacted in different ways or found out later that I'm often fairly alone on my feelings. Like, I new I was going to get the you're bisexual simply because I talked about guys, i'm not offended. But that's my problem i'm not bisexual I recently figured that out and due to that problem I feel alone because no one has that exseprince that I had and still claims to be gay. I feel alone on that level. But my friends always tell me to stop comparing myself to others because I am and always will be a difrrent person and there right. But It still feel very lonely.
Midnightstar, I'm going through a similar issue and I'm 30. I'm sorry you feel alone. I know how you feel. It is so hard to understand.
