How do you convince yourself that you aren't the only gay/bi person in your area?

I feel the same way, I just came out to my wife last week and now have to start trying to meet guys and I don't know how or where to start this. I don't know one single gay guy for almost my entire 14 years living where we are. Know some lesbians that's it. It's my biggest worry about not finding anyone after finally being able to be honest about my sexuality after all these years. You're definitely not alone

 

I look on youtube for reassurance.. I've seen like almost every girls coming out story on there. And I look on tumblr at all the other cute feminine lesbians and it makes me feel less alone.

I know there are other Lesbian/Bi girls in my town because i've fucking caught a couple checking me out.. Well I think they were! They sure gave me that impression! One girl in particular at my last job.. She was so cute.. Blonde hair and cute Green/Blue eyes. I've mentioned her before. I also don't fit the Lesbian stereotype.. Don't let it bring you down though!

Anyway.. Keeping an open mind helps buddy! ♥

 

I felt like that when my parents moved to a puny town in north Georgia.

I'm back in Atlanta now, which is a gay-mecca, but I still feel lonely, even when surrounded by other lesbians. We just don't have anything in common. At times, I feel even more alienated around other lesbians than I do around straight people, and that's pretty bad.

 

Go to craigslist for your area and look at the Men Seeking Men, and Casual Encounters selections. You should see quite a few posts by other gay men, enough to convince you that you are not the only gay person in your area.

Of course, they are 99% flakes, who wouldn't even answer a message you send them which shows you as just the person they say they are looking for, but that's a different problem.

If you want to find the real ones, you would have to look in places where they gather, such as gay bars (or straight bars which have been decided to be "the place" where gay people meet), gyms, organizations such as community alliances or Pride centers. They are out there, they just don't look like they are gay because they look like everybody else.

 

To the OP: Have you thought of taking a college class or two? I got involved with the Gay/Straight Alliance on campus. That got me knowing a few gay friends and it just networked from there. The internet ws also a big help. Try searching for gay and "big city" in your area.

 

Are you in NYC? Because if you are, you're not the only one. Even so, I'm sure there are others around you and you just haven't tuned into them yet.

I'm not sure this is the same for guys as it is for girls because guys seem friendlier to eachother than we are (this might be just where I am) but I've found that smiling and or chatting inconsequentially with as many women as I can, I've definitely started to be able to differentiate gay from straight. (Straight women usually respond with a blank stare. Nice, eh?)

I think whatever I'm doing is starting to work because just today while I was looking in a bakery's display at some Pride Slices (layered cake with rainbow icing between the layers), a woman struck up a short conversation with me about them. This is something I would totally have done if the situation were reversed. When I looked back at her, she was with another woman. If you know what I mean.

I don't know if she thought I was gay (I don't look particularly one way or the other) but I'm starting to feel that people can tell. The right people.
Anyway, after all that, my advice is just start smiling and chatting with all the guys around you so you can start to train your brain to know who is who.

 

Good job, Really! Sounds like you are making some progress getting *out* there!

 

Even if it may feel like it, I'm 99% sure that you're not the only gay in the village... :icon_bigg

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