Hi! I'm needing advice. If your bisexual can you tell me how you feel/ know to be with in a relationship? I was with my ex husband for 15 years. Left him for another woman. I've spent 5 years with women including living with two separately. My X and I took my son to college orientation 5 hours away which meant a 2 night stay. A bottle at the hotel bar lead to sex. I thought it was a night of reminiscing. So much healing from the nasty times on over the past 5 years. But it's continued. We're getting together when kids aren't home. Enjoying time together. Cry a lot because of missing each other and what's happened in the past. What does this mean? How do you feel when you're bisexual? I'm jealous if he has a dAte with someone else. I've enjoyed our intimate time. Trying to keep it casual. My feelings are so strong. I can't talk to anyone. They would think I'm crazy. My X and I hAve been at odds for so long
:welcome: I'm married and I also have feelings for my best friend (who lives far away). For me, I can't see that changing, but in the past few months, I've been considering if an open relationship might ever work for us. It certainly wouldn't right now, but maybe someday. My story is on my blog if you want more info about how I got to this point. I worry that we (as a society) may sometimes break up generally good marriages when opening up the sexual component might allow basically happy and compatible couples to remain together.
Hi My guess is all humaity is on a spectrum and that spectrum moves based on culture, society and curcumstance. Even prison sexuality speaks to this. You are trying to toss a dart at a moving target.
That's very introspective. I never thought of sexuality on a spectrum. I'm so confused right now. Can't talk to anyone. My lesbian friends would feel a sense of betrayal. I'm still more attracted to women but am very feminine. Most people done realize which is fine. Initiating a relationship is a challenge. I like butch women too. I wonder if that's part of why I'm into my x husband. It sounds like I gotta pick a team & stick with it. Or an open relationship. Otherwise I would confusing
What you have to realize Maco is that you do not have to 'pick a team and stick with it'. You are allowed to just be you without feeling guilty about it. Your lesbian friends shouldn't feel 'betrayed' if you now decide that bisexual and bisexuality are terms that fits you and your sexuality more. If they are then I advice you to consider finding yourself new friends that aren't bi-phobic. There is nothing wrong with loving both genders. For most sexuality is fluid, and while it may be a concept hard to grasp for 'gold star lesbians' it doesn't make it any less real and true. I feel like if you are indeed bisexual and happen to force yourself into staying with women as you feel like you can't backtrack from your coming out you'll be very unhappy and will probably happen to find yourself in the same situation as the one you probably happened to be in with your ex-husband were you find yourself craving for the other sex and obsess over it because you feel like you have to repress those feelings. Being bi-sexual means you don't have to pick. You can still prefer women and be bi, I currently prefer woman and I am bi, I just know that the ending up with a man at some point of my life is still a possibility and 'chose' not to close that door. If you are indeed bisexual you'll see that your attraction toward one sex and the other will vary greatly which sometimes can be confusing even terrifying if you've always thought of you one way and saw your attraction switching from what you've always liked to something you've never really considered before, but with time you learn to embrace it. Good luck !
i picked a team a long time ago. it was a mistake to close off a part of me that i could of/ would have explored long before now. if there is a part of you attracted to more than one gender let it be and go with the flow. if some dont understand and wont understand thats their problem.
Hopefully my tone won't be to brash, I am Mr. Crabby this morning - didn't sleep all that well last night. I like the statement above, thats way I quoted it. Basically in a nut shell Western society is dictating that you be a square peg in a round hole. From an evolutionary standpoint you were not meant to be with one person sexually for ever and ever. So on one side of the equation you are dealing with what society "dictates" to you while and on the other side, what "your internal voice tells you". I would suggest reading the book: http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Dawn-Stra...F8&qid=1435932893&sr=8-1&keywords=sex+at+down The book has in my opinion valid theories and helps promote understanding. Also you may want to try journaling. This helps to capture "got yas" that may be lingering in the shadows of your life. If you manage to identify an upsetting shadow (event) then you can address it via group counseling or therapy. Good luck. Write on my wall if want to interact more. ---------- Post added 3rd Jul 2015 at 07:33 AM ---------- Yes! Even thought I consider myself gay (male) there are some women who I find fun and turn me on sexually.
The way I came to know was by doing two things that didn't work: believing/insisting for 40+ years that I was straight despite a good deal of same-sex experience in adolescence, then believing that I was 100% homosexual when I came out several years ago and acting accordingly. Make that "trying to act accordingly" by pretending my attraction to women didn't exist. I see now that I am certainly capable of loving, and being to some degree sexual with, both men and women. My husband is the one man whom I wish to be with, and I'm just not attracted to men-in-general. At the same time I have a strong sense of unmet needs regarding intimacy with women, and it's okay with my husband if I seek to do something about that. My former wife was bisexual, and we had an understanding from the beginning that she could have a girlfriend if she wished, as long as I could meet her and everyone was clear what their relationship was (and was not). That worked pretty well in practice. My husband and I now have that same understanding - that I can have a girlfriend as long as it's a situation that minimizes the risk of anyone being hurt. While I sure hope this can come to pass, I have to accept that it may not. The entirety of my relationship with my husband is more valuable to me than being able to have an opposite-sex playmate, however much I sometimes long for one. We'll just have to see how things go...
