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Almost came out to my wife in an arguement...

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by KJA, Jul 4, 2015.

  1. KJA

    KJA
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    My wife is a bit mentally unstable, so finding the right time to out myself is a hard decision. As this is still new to me, only outed myself to myself about 3 weeks ago, I think I need to get my head together more before I take that step.

    That being said, we had gotten into a heat discussion today about how she feels about how she is being treated by everyone in the house, etc. Tried to keep my cool, but she started jabbing at me with her passive aggressive statements.... ><

    At one put she said something to me about me not being perfect, implying she had some dirt on me. So basically I told her to "put up or shut up", as in, tell me what you think you have on me or drop this. I was expecting she figured something out about me being at least bi, but no, she was just being vague... But the male in me was rising to the occasion (/facepalm), probably with testosterone and adrenaline surging and I came an inch of putting it in her face and making her deal with it. :tantrum:

    Good news is, I held back and was vague myself. Please note I've never EVER gotten violent with her, even when she's gotten that way with me. Bitchy, yes, violent no. Punched the walls more than once (almost broke my hand) :bang:

    I know she needs to know. But not in an argument. I owe her at least that much for 21 years of tolerant her more than slightly oddball husband...
     
  2. SiennaFire

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    Hi KJA

    I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. Good call not coming out during the heat of an argument.

    I came out to my wife 2 weeks ago. The first week after I came out was horrible. She didn't tell any of her friends, and I was her punching bag. Your wife will be devastated by your coming out - she will feel sad that her plans for a life together were false and that her life with you was a waste of her time. (Things are worse if you cheated on her). Note: I'm assuming that your coming out will result in divorce. Your mileage may vary if that's not the case.

    If your wife is mentally unstable, you may want to create a plan to come out to her with a mental health professional, such as a therapist or couples therapist, and maybe even have that professional in the room when you break the news.

    Good luck to you!
     
    #2 SiennaFire, Jul 4, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2015
  3. Chicagoblue

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    Good luck bro.
     
  4. KJA

    KJA
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    Yeah I thought about going to her doc and laying it out on the table first.