Living hell

Fist question on this regards if you're gay and seek for a male companion. Why are you still married to her? No intentions to sound rude and if it sounds like that, I apologize.
But I'm curious that you remain married even when your wife doesn't seem...supporting.

 

I agree with you, SiennaFire, in that, although your "coming out" may be her perceived source of conflict, she is ultimately always responsible for her own feelings and reactions. This doesn't make things any easier for you, or your child; however, the same applies to you, insofar as you "own" your feelings also, and you have the right to make healthy choices for yourself. As does your son.
Sounds as if you're being punished for being honest, and although I empathize with anybody experiencing pain beyond their control, I don't believe that truth should be abused under any circumstances.
I've always felt that honesty is a precious gift.
I continue to wish you well, (all of you), and hope a peaceful resolution will soon present itself.
I stood in your wife's "shoes" a few decades ago, and although hurt, yes angry, I was very grateful for the truth, and will always respect him for that.
Hope that helps a little.
Keep breathing.....

 

I have not come out officially to my wife but she suspects. I'm going through a bit of what you are but not to that degree. I truly feel for you. I hope you can find a gay or straight buddy or two for local support.

I would not have been as kind to Artlett as you were. Nice job on that.

 

As I said on my last post. I'm very sorry if I sounded rude in some way. I mean well and, basically, I joined EC because I want other people to feel as safe and happy as I feel with my sexuality. I want to help others the way they helped me, when I realized that I wasn't alone.

That there are other people like me.

I know you're going through a really hard time and I wish, your son to be proud of you, because you're not only brave to admit what you like but a nice father from what I've read so far. I wish I had a dad so concerned about my well-being and my safety.

Your wife is hurting and I get that, but I think that maybe within some time, she'll understand that it was for the best and that you didn't just choose this.
You're NOT selfish.
That's the way you are, and it is good to be who you are.
Congratulations on coming out and,in my case, I would be proud to be your kid, I think your son will be proud of you too when you tell him the truth.
Stay safe and smile, everything will be better
You have all the support in here.
Very sorry if my question was too direct. I needed to know in order to say what I really wanted to say. Good luck!

 

That sounds like a really hard situation all round.

I don't think it's in any way okay for her to treat you as a verbal punching bag, and you should absolutely tell her that you're not willing to put up with it. That said, I'll play devil's advocate for a moment and say that her reaction is somewhat understandable. Her life has been turned upside down and it's hardly surprising that she's angry and lashing out. Of course she's feeling negative. You make it sound like it's a character flaw when in fact it's a pretty natural reaction to an upsetting situation. It sounds like you could stand to show a bit more sensitivity yourself.

Give her time. You've presumably had years to work through the fact that you're gay, while she's only had a few weeks. I'm not suggesting that you should allow her to verbally abuse you, just saying that she deserves some degree of understanding while the news is fresh.

You guys have a kid together so it's extra important that you try to treat each other with respect (and that of course applies to her too). The way you react to her now will set the tone for years to come.

I wish you both the best with everything.

 

Sennia have been down the road you are on and not the great feeling when your other half don't want this to happen But keeping it bottle up is not anything but denial to yourself Most partners will get upset and frustrated but some not many will accept sounds like your partner wants to not be involved
Hope this helps you in some way
Your friend
Chris

 

Hey SiennaFire,
I say this from experience (my parents are divorced) and for the benefit of all three of you, when I say that even though you plan to divorce your wife, you will still be regularly seeing each other because of your son. Therefore, you should know and let your wife/ex-wife know, that both of you should resolve any problems you have between the 3 of you as fast as possible, so that there is minimal fights and that your son is not a victim/2nd hand victim of the fight/s. Also i suggest that if you 2 do start fighting/arguing that you remove your son completely from the situation (to a friends or relatives house).

I'm happy to hear that you have come out and even more so that you are feeling better for it, despite you being used as a "verbal punching bag", which I'm very sorry that's happening to you. you are doing a great job, you should be proud and hold your head high!

I hope everything goes smoothly from here and I hope this helps
keep posting or post on my wall if you wish

 

No Problems.
I've noticed a few other people write that an lgbt friendly therapist would be best. I guess that would be a good way to start for you two.

Good luck and I hope everything goes well for you

 

Hi,

Hindsight is 20/20.

When you are trapped in a burning building there is no time to ponder why you chose to live in that building.

Once Sienna is out of his hell it will be much clearer as to the how and why of it.

You see this with many faces in the LGBT community. Gays who support politicians who are opposed to LGBT civil liberties. Gays who support religions that condem the LGBT community severly.

These folk do not see the harm they do, nor will they ever until they take a step back. Sienna is only doing what he has to do in the moment. This will change in time. He has to deal with this in his own way.

The oppression of being gay and its wounds are most visible in hindsight and that is when they heal.

 

Hi Sienna,

Trust me... It becomes more clear, more settled.

 

This really doesn't relate to being gay. It relates to your inability to be assertive in the face of abuse.

I suggest reading "It's Your Perfect Right: A Guide to Assertive Living".

 

it's great to see you're one step ahead