This week I found myself in a conversation between two relatives who know me well. One has had a rough life and has had many partners, dates out of loneliness, finds herself constantly in dysfunctional, sometimes abusive relationships, out of respect for her, I won't go into the details. However, this weekend she flippantly made a comment that she didn't care who she dated, male or female, talked about her current, dysfunctional relationship without awareness or care about our concerns, and joked about being bisexual. When the conversation got tense, she changed the subject to ask me about what I was up to. The other relative knows a bit of what I'm going through, and I didn't want to openly lie in front of her so I vaguely mentioned that I'm questioning my sexual identity and seeking therapy and kept it at that. The conversation naturally went right back to her, as it typically does. I've been devastated ever since. I feel like my journey and my questions have been reduced to a cheap ploy for attention and is now associated with her dysfunction and quite frankly, it has really upset me more than I expected. I can't stop thinking about it and it is making me really quite angry. I'm angry that she somehow made my journey about her in this conversation, and scared that she has associated what I'm going through with her dysfunctional sexual behavior in the mind of the other person, who is trying to be supportive of me, but is still rather conservative in her views. It's a good thing I have a therapy session this week, because I want to punch something right now.
"Me, me, me. All we have been talking about is me. Lets talk about you; what do YOU think about ME." This is a joke line from somebody's comedy routine, whose name I don't remember. I think it makes the point that some people are so self-centered that they are not helpful when you have problems. It really IS all about them in their minds. I suggest that you find a better listener to talk with, and check out some gyms with some facilities for boxing exercise, including heavy bags you can punch away at until you feel better.
Imagine you are driving and happen past a landfill... What does the landfill have to do with you? Continue gayly forward
You know I think any sexual experiences run the gamet from down, dirty, and even a bit disgusting. If you enjoy them.... Well we are thinkers and feelers with memory and fantasy but we are also ANIMALS. Maybe try thinking of sex as a lot about the animal part. Also as Jung said, " don't confuse similar things". Her bi experience is hers, not yours.. ---------- Post added 7th Sep 2015 at 04:23 PM ---------- Sorry! I meant to say runs the gamer from EXALTED TO ROMANTIC TO DOWN AND DIRTY, etc ---------- Post added 7th Sep 2015 at 04:25 PM ---------- Like this
Sorry your relative is like that. You don't deserve that. Skiff is right, I need to remember that quote in my own life. Notice how I turned this post around to being about me?
Try not to let people cheapen your experience. She sounds like not the best person to open up to, and possibly is mostly motivated by the desire to feel superior to you to tamp down her feelings of worthlessness. Be analytic I think if her certainty about her bisexuality seems to be a tool for her to dominate you... Those are my thoughts... I other words, sounds like she's a fucking bitch!
It sounds like she's just being a drama queen. My vote goes for ignoring her. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. Your journey IS important, and it sounds like she's so wrapped up in her own b.s. that she can't even appreciate what happens to you. I feel bad saying that, since I know she's part of your family and it's hard to turn a deaf ear to family no matter how dumb they're being, but sometimes it's what's best. Tons of hugs and luck in your therapy and questioning and everything else. All the hugs. (*hug*)
