(sorry if this might be in the wrong section.) Now, I have come to a conclusion that I MIGHT be transgender. I don't say that I am as I am still very confused. I have tried making my mind up and watched videos about all and I kinda seem to fit into the same thing as the people in the videos who spoke about how they knew that they were trans and how their past was. I am thinking of having male pronouns and getting a binder and stuff.. and to be honest, I feel kinda good. I don't know, thinking about being FtM transgender, kinda feels good to me. I still don't know and I am still quite confused but I guess I am on the right track, somehow. (EDIT: so I let this paragraph there for about two hours and now I went to walk my dog and thought about everything. I've come to the conclusion that I am NOT happy with my body. I don't think this is me. My body, I mean.) Today my mum drove home with me from youth coaching (because I dropped out of school and am now trying to search for a job or an apprentice ship, which I will probably get) and I just stared out of the window and watched the people. I begun to think about how it would be if I had a short hair cut and a binder and I kinda begun to feel uncomfortable and NOT because of my appearance if I had both, I think I'd like it, but rather because of what other people would think of me. I know I shouldn't care much about what other people think.. but in my past I've been bullied enough because I had more friends who were boys, behaved like a boy and basically dressed like a boy.. Well I also feel as if I'll die alone because of how I look and all... I am not really a slim person and losing weight is something really hard for me as I am terrible in doing sports but I think I will just begin with sports again.. I just feel wrong. I've been thinking some bit more and like.. I don't feel right. I don't know how to describe all this.. I will probably just die alone and ugly. Well I am already ugly so I guess I will only need to die alone in about 40 to 70 years..
