Hi. Not sure if i'm doing this for advice or just a way to get everything just out there. I'm 44 years old met my husband when i was 16 married for 20 odd years left him 18 months ago to live with my girlfriend. Looking back ive always been a lesbian but in kinda asexual way. Weirdly, didnt have crushes but i knew what i found attractive. At 40 i realised i couldnt live in my marriage without my children who are grown ups now)..it was sexless/affectionless/friendless really. 2 work colleagues (both gay) helped me through and now i am very happily living with my partner and slowly getting to know who i really am based on what i think and feel and not what i think other people want me to be....BUT although i said long ago if people/my family choose not to support me then they don't love me and i'll deal with that but now its here i'm lonely and frightened i wont be accepted for being who i really am. I know i have so much to be grateful for and i truly am but the fear is always there and i don't know how to deal with it....x
Hi contradiction70, Welcome to EC! While I'm not in the same place as you, there will be many others here who are so hopefully some of them will reply here but, certainly, look around because you might find something that helps ease your worries. Do you have reason to believe your people/family specifically have unsupportive or homophobic views? Or is it more of a fear of the unknown (their reaction)? Maybe talk it out a bit here to help you process things somewhat. I'm not out but I can tell I'm getting more and more comfortable everyday and being here and talking to others is the reason.
Hello Contradiction70, and welcome! I recognise quite a lot in your post, especially the part about the kids growing up. I'm thinking we might have some similarities, and would love to offer support. Sounds like you have some really solid friends on board! This is a great place to be, to take a deep breath, and feel validated. Glad you're here!
