I've been dating a guy since May. We've only been able to go out about 6 times though, due to our schedules. we e-mail each other every few days. I'd really like to take our relationship to the next level. We haven't done anything at the end of a date but shake hands so far. I'm not in a rush to have sex, but a little kissing and cuddling would be nice. I haven't made the first move since I don't know if he's ready for that yet and I don't want to ruin this. I'm also worried that my lack of action is telling him I'm not interested in him in that way. He's 44 and I just turned 52. I may be older, but he is much more experienced than I am. He's the first person I've ever dated (of either gender), which is not true for him. Should I just tell him this or wait a little longer for him to make the first move? Unfortunately, I'm not a very patient person, but I'm trying.
Kiss him and stick your tongue in his mouth when you do; if he doesn't get that message, he is the one who isn't interested.
Are you staring into each others eyes? Thats a big indicator. Do you hold hands when you take private walks? Go for a strong hug, then tell him you like him. In my opinion the sex part comes way down the road. To early in a relation can side track ya - because thats what you end up wanting and not growing the relationship. If you let the fish flop around on the dock it might jump back in the water.
We've never taken a walk anywhere, so no, not even hand holding. He's going to a party at our local Pride Center this weekend with me so that may be the perfect time/place to talk to him and go for that hug.
What does it mean for you to take your relationship to the next level? Are you looking to establish an emotional connection? Are you looking for sex/physical contact? A mix of these? I agree with the other posters that you want to go for a hug or kiss on your next date. Not necessarily at the end of the date if you can get some privacy. I would also take it slow on the sex piece.
I'm not in a big rush to have sex. The emotional connection is definitely something I'd like first. We always talk a lot when we go out and tell each other that we had a great time when we e-mail after the date. I'm just not sure if he's as into me as I am him. My lack of experience makes it hard to tell. ---------- Post added 16th Jul 2015 at 05:43 PM ---------- An interesting thought, but I don't know if I have to guts to do it.
If this guy goes out with you six times without any physical contact, I'm guessing he must like you. Does he know/sense that you are inexperienced? He might be pacing himself so he doesn't scare you away. Another question I have to ask - does he think that these are dates or two friends going out? I would continue to talk with him and disclose your personal thoughts and feelings to build up the emotional connection. If you don't have the guts to initiate the kiss, another approach is grab his hands and look lovingly into his eyes and ask him if he intends to kiss you. This will have the same effect. There is an element of risk here - you will either get a kiss or you'll have a dialog about how he feels about you, which might be a lack of reciprocity. The danger is if you play it safe too long, the fish might jump back in as brainwashed suggests.
I had a serious talk with him today on the way home from the party. He said he's not ready to refer to me as a boyfriend yet (I guess that explains the lack of affection). He just finalized a divorce from a woman a few months ago and says he needs some time to sort out his emotions. I understand, but am bummed. My lack of patience is kicking in again, so I have to fight it. Hopefully, in time, something will develop. I really want it to. He did give me a hug before he left my place, so I guess there's still hope. Time will tell.
99701, I'm sorry to hear that the conversation did not work out as you expected. You must be very disappointed with the outcome (*hug*) Let me suggest a few reasons why you should be very PROUD of yourself right now ride: You went after what you wanted and in the process you achieved clarity about your relationship with him. You took action and now you know more about him and where he's at. This is HUGE. Lack of patience is not the problem here. You went out with him 6 times without physical contact. That's an outlier in the gay world. You prevented yourself from being strung along into dates 8 or 9 without physical contact. You now know where he's coming from and can formulate a battle plan to win his affection if that's what you want. Divorced gay guys have gone through a ton of emotions to come out and divorce, so maybe he needs time to recover. If you want him, maybe being a supportive listener may be just the thing ... I know you are bumming right now - you'll get past this and figure out what to do (&&&)
Thanks. He's bi and actually been out for a while so that wasn't the reason for the divorce. I do want more of relationship with him and we're still going to go out as friends. I hope in time something will develop, but I know it may not or may take a long time. I activated my profile on the online dating site again and will have to see if anyone else contacts me. Unfortunately, he's the only local man who's messaged me on that site so far and I don't want to start a long distance relationship.
