hey guys so i recently realized that i may like women. I was born a girl, and i never did anything really masculine that would indicate that i was mannish or boyish. I wasnt really a tomboy either, as very fragile little girl . I didn't really like dresses but that was just my preference. I love wearing makeup and being girly, however since questioning this thought and association came into my mind that because i like girls then i must be a guy... I know its crazy but I was wondering if anything like this has ever happened to you.. I dont wish to have a penis, and my boobs dont bother me at all. yesterday i had a panic attack because of this. I have a strong persona and i am not the most femenine but i am definitely not a guy or consider myself one. I really don't understand where the fear is coming from. So much is already changing having realized that i may not be straight. but gender identity had never been an issue thus far. I am a jeans and shirt kind of girl, i like dresses (just to party) and i always kind of associated makeup with attracting a guy. so now since all this.. its just been confused. have any of you who have questioned your sexuality questioned your identity? I love my name and being female and the thought of surgery to change my sex is uncanny. This popped into my mind and now i cant get it out. I am so confused.
It's not common for people to obsess about various aspects of their sexuality and/or gender, especially when they're going through a "crisis of faith" - when the things they thought were final and set start looking less so. The only real gender issue you appear to be dealing with is the sort of muddled thought "well, if I like women, then I must be a man". There's no body issues or anything. So it's the thought that needs to be investigated a bit more. It sounds like you've skipped over the more obvious conclusion that "if I like women, I must be bisexual/gay." Is there anything rattling around your brain that suggests why you may not be gay/bi? Lex
Thank you for your reply. Since the start of my questioning I have secluded myself a lot and I don't consider myself normal. Since i dont view myself as normal then I feel like I keep looking for issues that might not even exists. Which is why I am still in the questioning process. My mind works in weird ways where if a thought plants in my mind it must be it and then this thought continues to grow and expand and it causes me anxiety, not because i necessarily feel it. So that is why I think that there is the possibility that i might not be. Now I am not saying that I am not gay/bi. I am now at least clear with the thought that I do like women, what the label is though I am not aware. I have a lot of time to think and that has spiralled into many negative thoughts thoughts that are not even me. If you have any advice please do share.
I used to question my gender a lot when I was younger, always thinking things would've been so much simpler if I were just a girl having feelings for guys. Over time, it subsided and then I just spent the rest of my teen years and beyond just trying to push back the sexuality issue.
I'm very much a female in her 40s, I like being a female (in fact, I'm being careful as I type this as I just did my nails), but I'm in the process of coming to terms that I may attracted to other females rather than males. While I have always had the feeling that "I'm not like other girls"that I've never been able to put my finger on, and that started as a child, I suspect it was this. However I am very comfortable presenting as feminine, with my own spin . You have some things to sort out, as do I, but there is no reason I see to believe that if you allow yourself to explore your sexual orientation that it impacts your current relation with the expression of your gender, if you are comfortable and feel good about that expression.
Thank you, and it really just popped into my head yesterday and I freaked me out. i have always been a girly girl and love doing my nails and doing my makeup, yet this gave me anxiety because of my fear of change and questioning my sexual orientation is already very confusing.
Hi friend! I experience a lot of gender worries. For a period of time, I thought I was a trans man, and then I realized I do not want a male body. I love presenting girly, I curl my hair, do my makeup, wear cute clothes and wedges, jewelry etc., but I do not relate at all to actual girly girls who do the same. On the inside I feel quite boyish, or just not girlish? I kind of just feel like a person, who presents girly, and that can give me a lot of anxiety, especially when I'm with friends, I can feel very isolated when it comes to my gender. But I don't think you have to feel a certain type of way to like girly stuff. It feels most right for me, more so than wearing tomboy clothing.
