Today is not a good day. I have tried dealing with my sexuality and the mess I'm in, but I just can't get it right. I'm married and want to come out to my wife but every time I try, I end up chickening out and just force myself down into hole to hide instead. I have kids and can not imagine hurting them with what I know will be a nasty divorce. Then there is the being alone part. Everyone keeps saying there are lots of guys in my situation, but I definitely don't know how to find them. I can't go through something like this alone and I know if I just come out that is exactly what will happen. I'm having the suicidal thoughts again. I don't trust counselors so that's out. I just don't think I can survive this. Sorry to just ramble on. Just don't have anywhere else to say this stuff..
Two days ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 15 years and from my own experience I can say that it seemed totally impossible at first, like I can't never make it, but one step at a time, slowly, steadily and today I'm out. :icon_bigg I assume having kids it must be even more difficult but, please, don't lose hope, there are many people here on the forum who were in the same situation as you and who came out and are happy now. (*hug*)
Hey fella.It's sounds like you are at a similar point in your situation to me. I too arrived at a point where I felt I couldn't go on with the life and the lies.One day whilst taking a shower before work I had an overwhelming urge to run and never come back.I did exactly that,got in the car and drove...for hours.The one thing that kept playing in my head was that despite everything going on,that I loved my daughter and she needed me.Her love for me is unconditional and nothing can change that.What right did I have to leave her.I'm very sure that you too have great relationships with your children and that you are a great Dad.Let's do this together,I'm sure we can get through it. Take care.
Please stay strong, not only for yourself but for your beautiful kids as well. Sending positive energy and lots of hugs your way! (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
It is hell what you are going through, I did it for 15 years. Let me be clear on this; coming out will mean the beginning of the transition to your authentic self. It will also mean the end of elements of your life as you know it. Interacting with those around you when you are in the new state of you; it can make all the difference in the world. Congratulations for finding it in you to post to this forum, many like us have found support here.
Sounds like you are in a rough place and will probably have a few more of these. Sending you positive thoughts and much strength to help you find the courage to bear with it all.
Jrockcold EC is a supportive environment with wonderful members who will help you as you come out. Before I joined EC, I knew that I wanted to come out but didn't know how. With the help and love of EC members, I've come out to the my wife and others and have started my journey of living authentically. Are there support groups for gay husbands or fathers in your area? That's a great way to find guys in your situation. Have you tried finding a therapist with LGBT experience? I feel that LGBT experience makes a difference with therapists. Coming out can be an overwhelming experience. That's why it's important to relax and take baby steps. You'll get there (&&&)
