So I've read a few things about coming out being akin to the five stages of grief. Denial-Anger-Bargaining-Depression-Acceptance. I've been through the first three since I was probably 15. Denied everything throughout high school and college, was angry at myself probably starting the last year of college and up until my mid twenties, bargained with God I don't know how many times (if I just date one more girl she will be the one). Now I've come out and I'm in the depression phase. I'm so mad at myself too, so maybe there's a little residual anger too. I'm mad that I wasn't brave enough to do this in my twenties. And I'm depressed that I never let myself truly experiment, learn about myself. So I need to finally accept that I can't change the past, accept that I'm still me, accept that I have to stop repressing all the things I like that aren't particularly "manly" in societies view, and move on to living a real life. So my thought is to write one big total coming out post on Facebook, sort of as something cathartic. Everyone important in my life already know, I told them personally, or gave someone the ok to clue them in on why I've been a bit miserable lately. My sisters have even joked with me about getting Tshirts that say "I love my gay brother" and posting the pic with my "outing." I keep laughing about it whenever I see the pic of the tshirt my sister sent me. I'm just not sure how to do it. Short and sweet. Long and informing everyone about how hard it's been... Any opinions?
I'd go short and sweet. Then as people make comments or ask questions you can expand on it if you like. Keep in mind though that not everyone checks Facebook regularly so not all your FB friends will see it.
Agree with above Lindsey23, short and sweet, and let your sisters post pics of themselves; what a great way to show support and love!
Thanks folks. I'm thinking maybe in between now. Not too short, but not an essay either. There's some things I need to get out that I just can't say out loud to people. Probably all leads back to the repression.
I tend to be cautious about Facebook in general. Social media has a way of spreading in directions you never could imagine. I regularly see posts from people I know nothing about simply because someone pressed 'like'. I recommend never doing anything rash online. Most of my gay friends don't shout out that they are gay on there, even though they are fully out in life.
I don't really use Facebook much--it's kind of funny, most of my friends know that if they are actually trying to get in touch with me through Facebook they should contact my partner rather than myself--but we are both fully out on Facebook. But there is literally no one in the world that either of us would be uncomfortable with them knowing we are gay. We've both been out longer than we were in and it's just part of who we are. Most of my gay friends who do Facebook are out on Facebook. If you are to that point where there really is no one and I mean no one that you would mind finding out--first of all mazel tov second, go ahead Facebook away--if not well then Being Earnest's word of caution makes sense.
I'm just at the point where I'm fine with everyone knowing. And I think that's my next step towards accepting being who I am. I've got a huge wall I'm chipping away at and it needs to come down if I'm ever going to be happy. I'm definitely going to think hard before I actually do it, but I think it's time that I get further down the road of accepting myself.
I recently came out on Facebook — not a big formal announcement, but rather a Happy Pride message that made it clear I'm gay, if anyone hadn't already guessed. The thing is, I'd been out to everyone in my immediate circle for over a year, but I was always pussy-footing around the issue when posting anything on Facebook that might offend my more distant acquaintances. I finally got tired of trying to keep track of everybody — who knew and who didn't —and tailoring my posts accordingly, and I just went, "To hell with it," and hit "post to everyone."
Short and sweet. I came out to my Facebook friends after all the important ppl were told. I posted it like any other post. And some ppl commented and others liked the post. And that is all there was to it. Life went on from there. The main difference now is that I can like or post lgbt things on my fb page now. And I am so glad I did it! Good luck!
