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Same old struggles

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by thekspot, Jul 26, 2015.

  1. thekspot

    Regular Member

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    I am 28 and finally moving out of my parents place.

    They know I am gay and have been up and down with the whole thing.
    I am living my final days in my parents house, and my parents have given me the silent treatment.

    I wanted to leave on good terms, and I know I can't change how they react or feel, but part of me is like they are my parents, it will affect me greatly if they ignore me on my final days.

    How do I come to terms with this, and how do I turn this into a positive moving forward?
     
  2. SiennaFire

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    Coming out for me has required me to stop needing the approval of others and start advocating for myself. I don't need the approval of others for me to accept myself as gay. I am gay and proud. If people accept me, that's great. If people don't accept me, then they don't have to be in my life.

    I don't know the specifics of your parent's beliefs, so it's hard to be specific about your situation.

    Best
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    Is it only since you decided to move out that they have given you the silent treatment, because that seems rather odd to me. At the age of 28, you are at a stage in life where you really need your independence, regardless of your sexual orientation. If the silent treatment is a result of you moving out, it may have less to do with your sexuality and more to do with their clinginess as parents. What do you think?

    It does take some parents a while to process the idea that a son or daughter is gay and come to terms with it. When you say they have been up and down with the whole thing, how exactly has it been? Can you explain the ups and the downs of the situation with your parents?

    I'm sorry they are giving you the silent treatment and I hope they will come round before you leave. Very few parents want to remain on bad terms with their kids, regardless of the differences between them and I hope your parent see things that way.

    I don't know exactly where you are in the world, but it might be worth checking out the website for PFLAG or FFLAG (if you are in the UK) and offering the appropriate information to your parents. To have contact with a support group for parents of gay children may help them a lot.

    It's a new beginning for you and you should try to focus on the positives that come from that. With everything that is going on, it may not be easy, but it's better than dwelling on things that you cannot change.