So I'm working through the coming out process, but like everyone, I guess, I'm new at everything. New at flirting, new at sex, new at all the other hobbies I've repressed all these years, blah, blah, blah. So here's my question: do other, more experienced, gay guys understand that? Are they okay with that? Accepting of it? Or am I just handicapped for some period of time? Or am I just wrongly assuming that every gay guy out there at this point has been out for some time?
LGBT are normal people, just like everyone else. There are great people, and unfortunately, there are ignorant people, just like in other places. Just remember that ignorant people aren't worth your time, so focus on finding nice people.
Depends on the gay. Some guys will be totally accepting and supportive. Some won't care much one way or the other. Some will hold it against you. Some may find it a turn on and/or attractive and go out of their way to try to get with you. Something to keep in mind: if you treat something about yourself as deserving of shame or ridicule, the odds are good that some number of people will step forward to agree with you. On the other hand, if you treat it as just one aspect of yourself and no big deal, the odds are good that an even larger number of people will step forward to agree with you. Todd
Different people react in different ways, sadly the entire community isn't always hugs and rainbows. Over all my experience has been positive though.
This isn't to scare you, just give a different perspective but, from my own personal experience, a lot aren't, at least around here. It amazes me how many times I've been told that closeted folk are the reason that the 'community' has as many problems as it does. People seem to love to shove the year in your face, not considering that that isn't some universal law stating that you have it easy just because of the year we are in. Then again, a lot of people in all kinds of life scenarios seem to forget their roots and become (near) completely oblivious to their struggles in the past once they feel like they're finally in a good spot(implying they had anything struggles to begin with; another cause of this mindset). You just have to keep aware of this sorta thing to get which kinda person you may be dealing with.
It's all over the map. I find the LGBT community, save some funny and observant generalizations applicable to some parts of it, defies categorization more so than other demographic groups. And please don't think of yourself as "handicapped for some period of time." That just isn't so.
I know a lot of wonderful and accepting people. I know quite a few intolerant and selfish A-holes too. It depends on the person. With regards to sexual experience, I got lucky. My first boyfriend and I both went in relatively blind so we helped each "learn the gay ropes" as it were. Some LGBT just aren't willing to work with a beginner, the same way straight people aren't. It depends on the person.
Self perpetuating at this point... Sterotypes hog social limelight and define "gay" socially in ways which non stereotipical gays do not relate to and avoid. And it is self feeding now...
Hey, you're not scaring me; I'm just grateful to know the truth about what I'm getting myself into. I'll try to remember that!
I've met only some who not very excepting, not the majority by far, but the impression they can leave can be so overwhelming, that I think it makes it seem like it is a bigger problem than it is. Personally, I seem to have better luck making friends and clicking with gays of the opposite sex. IDK if anyone else has experienced that, but gay guys have been family for me, where the women seem way more protective of themselves. I can't believe that that is how it always is though. I really think that this is a phase for me and just where I am at. Everything happens for a reason, and this is how it has been on my path so far, but there is no reason that it couldn't change tomorrow. ---------- Post added 1st Aug 2015 at 10:20 PM ---------- and I noticed I strayed a little from your initial question, so I wanted to add that I believe regardless of if a man or woman says they are not interested in someone newly out, that if you just relax, and let people get to know you, the right guy, will want to get to know you even more...even if he had previously said no. Gays shouldn't be stereotyped and neither should those of us who came out late, and you never know when you will help someone realize, that that is what they were doing.
Gay people are just like anyone else. There will be people who understand and accept you, and there are people who are bad and will make you feel bad. I think as long as you focus on finding people who bring value into your life, rather than just letting anyone in because you want to be a part of the community is a good way to weed out the ignorant and the judgemental.
