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Out...now what?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Moonflower, Jul 28, 2015.

  1. Moonflower

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    I have recently emerged from a dark, musty, lonely closet. In truth, I feel like I’ve just spent 21 years in solitary confinement. I may have been in relationships, but I was always alone in that closet. Now, the air is sweeter, the sun shines brighter, I carry myself differently and for the first time, everything about me makes sense. You couldn’t put my cold dead corpse back in that closet again. Period. It’s not like a lot of people know, but I know….and for the first time in my forty years on this planet, life makes perfect sense. And my own actions, thoughts and feelings make sense....everything. Wow.
    I’m glad I found this site because I’m happy that I’ve recognized that I am and have always been a lesbian, but I don’t’ know what to do now. At all. There’s not a lot of coming out support that I’ve noticed for the older crowd. I’m glad I found this community and hope we can all be mutually supportive of each other.
     
  2. Chicagoblue

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    Feels good, don't it? SO HAPPY FOR YA.
     
  3. wolff

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    Out to everyone
    You asked, "what now?" Just be yourself and everything else will fall into place. Congratulations on your coming out!
     
  4. Leifa

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    *hugs* yay! being yourself is the best thing... not beign able to be true to yourself is a horrible feeling I'm glad you feel better! This is a great place, I'm newish too so I hope you like it as much as I do.
     
  5. Moonflower

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    Thanks for the support. It's just hard because it is learning to be myself. And then I'm going to have some serious disclosure decisions to make with friends and family members. In some ways, I think it might clear a lot of things up for them...but at the same time I don't know how they're going to take it. Then there's the whole dating issue---wow. Where do I go? Do I try online dating? (I don't like the bar scene), but after all this lonely closet time, i definitely want to start socializing. That's hard where I'm at because I'm not in Philly. I know there is a great community there but I just can't get there right now- it's almost two hours away. Any ideas?
     
  6. wolff

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    Google is a wonderful thing. Check for support groups in your area. They may be small, but it opens a door so you can get your foot in. Check for "gay" churches in your area, that's another good way to meet folks.
     
  7. CodeForLife

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    Look for LGBTQ meetups in your area. First google search result for "meetup". I found quite a few groups close to me, but then again, I am in California... :slight_smile:
     
  8. Lmwanninger

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    I have also after 47 years came out to a few friends. And am still searching for answers to do many questions. Like am I bisexual or am I lesbian. Because I am attracted to both girls and guys. I have never pursued anything with a girl other then having and wondering what it would be like to act on them. I am confused about what to do next. I too feel a sense of relief about coming out. It has been drilled in my head from little on that this is wrong. I have told some close friends and all have been accepting of this except for one who basically said I should have kept it to myself. The others said that they just want me to be happy with whoever it might be even it happens to be a girl. I have tried looking for groups in my area and can't seem to find any. So this site has been a life savor. I have to learn to accept me for me. Because I'm not hiding anymore and if the one friend can't accept me for who I am then i don't need them in my life.
     
  9. skiff

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  10. angeluscrzy

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    Recently ended ltr with gf of 14 years, she is also mother to my children. My sexuality being an issue among other things. Finally just felt I needed to be out. No shocking revelations or anything like that, more than anything its just allowing myself to look and think about guys more so I guess that part is at least a little liberating. Feeling more than just a little psyched out tho over the possibility of dating again. Like that wasn't bad enough before due to my shyness.
     
  11. skiff

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    Lots of guys would be interested in you.
     
  12. Moonflower

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    Hopefully it will go better this time because you'll be more comfortable in your own skin.
     
  13. PULCHRA

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    Meetup groups worked for me!
     
  14. angeluscrzy

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    I am very anxious in social situations. And it sucks to want that social life so bad but be absolutely terrified at the thought of being around people.
     
  15. CodeForLife

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    I'm not good at social situations either. However, I realize that if I want to be happy, I need to take the initiative regardless of how shy I feel. And no, I'm not out yet, but yes, I have been to an LGBTQ meetup before and talked to people. (*hug*)

    A few random quotes from EC people:

    • The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.
    • Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
     
  16. Moonflower

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    Wow! I didn't know about the meetup groups! Thanks!
     
  17. Sue Baloo

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    Congrats on your freedom! I am in a very similar place. I was thinking of looking for meet up groups when the kids go back to school in 3 weeks. I think that's the next step, for me at least.
     
  18. Moongirl

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    You all are an inspiration to me! I am coming out at 49...have no idea how to meet people yet...I checked on Meetup but the closest city that was on there had a group that is now inactive. So I guess I will just keep my eyes and ears peeled for anything!
     
  19. SiennaFire

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    Actually the quote is from Joseph Campbell. It's a great quote that empowered me to explore my cave and subsequently come to terms with my sexuality. I'm glad that you like it :slight_smile:
     
    #19 SiennaFire, Aug 5, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2015
  20. bibeauty28

    bibeauty28 Guest

    Congrats!! Coming out of that closet is almost like a rebirth isn't it? I'm so happy for you. I hope you find a meetup group close to you. Meetup is always good fun!