Okay, I've got a weird question. Yes, it's immature of me, but that's okay, I need to ask. I know I'm dealing with my sexuality late, and that I'm coming out of the closet later than many. I know I didn't get to come out when I was 16, but instead had to wait until about twice that age. I know I'm behind, growth-wise. But can I ever catch up? Can I ever pass for someone who's been out since they were in high school? Or will people just know that I haven't been? I hate that I did what I had to do to survive. It's not like I get bonus points for it. I want to undo the damage of those years. I just don't know if I can.
There is no "right" time to come out, you come out when your/ready able. I wish I had openly instead of just a few people but whats done is done. I don't know what you all had to do so I can't really comment...but it's rarely too late. Good luck
Are you going to be able to attract the kind of guy you visualize having been able to attract earlier? Or perhaps you were attracting in your teens and twenties but didn't act on it? Yes...although realistically he is now older too. Tons of younger dudes like guys in their 30's of course too.
Buddy... You are a baby at 32. Second you never want to "pass". Own it. Be proud of your own history. You do not need another closet within the LGBT community.
I'm not sure what you feel you need to 'pass' at. Being gay is not a career that you need to build up experience in It's not a special club that you need to earn a VIP card for, just be you. Work on accepting yourself and being happy. Just like making friends, you will need to find people that you have more in common with than just your sexuality Can you 'catch up'? No. Because you don't need to. No one will know anything that you don't want to tell them. Just be yourself
Exactly. Your experiences are what make you who you are, and they're nothing to be dismissed or ashamed of. I got married at 32 and had 2 kids, and didn't start coming out till 20 years later. If I tried to ignore that in the interests of "catching up" I'd be ignoring a big part of myself. We've done enough of that already, haven't we? (*hug*)
Its been three years since I have come out, I believe I have more than made up for lost time, revisited my adolescence, learned about myself, and matured. Always on the journey, but at this point feeling extremely comfortable with where I have been and where I am going. Oddly, I am at the point where coming out, identifying myself as gay, and understand the gay community is no longer front and center in my life. It is only a part of me but does not define me. Stick to the journey, find your own way, regardless of age, inner peace is possible so long as you stick to your convictions.
Please stop poisoning your mind with this perspective! The question you should be asking yourself is what can you do TODAY to make YOURSELF happy? You've come out much earlier than many of us in this forum. This is not a competition. Your goal is to find Mr. Right who will make you happier than any girlfriend you've had up until now. Or at least have fun trying Mr. Right will love you for who you are. Carpe diem!
Why would you want to pass as someone that's been out since high school ? There is absolutely no shame in coming out later in life. Like you said you had to do what you had to do to survive and you shouldn't be ashamed. Many LGBT have struggled/struggle with coming out, it is not something new and it is something most LGBT members have come across and tend to be very understanding of. You came out late, so what ? it's never too late to catch up and enjoy the sexuality that you now embrace. Sex/dating isn't a competition, you don't earn points by doing certain stuffs by a certain age. There is no rules. It's all about fun, happiness, finding yourself and what you want. So go and enjoy being a non-closeted 32 yo gay male and have fun, since I am sure many people on here would have loved to have come out THAT young.
I'm 37 and still questioning! You are still young - enjoy it. And anyone who would judge you negatively for not knowing this about yourself earlier isn't worth your time anyway. Or are you worried about being experienced sexually? I bet there are a ton of guys who would love to teach you what you need to know!
Being in your early 30's can be relatively early on this part of the site. Many of us are disappointed we waited so long too but embrace it since so many people nowadays do wait later in life to come out or feel comfortable enough to come out. Enjoy the new journey!
We alll know in my opinion. It is a matter of self acceptance and a willingness to accept whatever family, friends and society toss at us because of it. You have to reach the point where personal pain exceeds the fear of bigotry and discrimination. The numbers of older and questioning has swelled with social changes making it much easier.
