I'm a 25 year old gay male, whose come out to a few close friends and a few family members over the past 18 months and they've all accepted me for whom I am unconditionally. However because I feel I've come out late compared to most of the LGBTI+ community. ( I realise other people older than me come out later due to fear of what other people think, internal homophobia and other reasons). I just kept help feeling so inexperienced and left behind and like a bit of an idiot :icon_redf especially as I've not had a "proper" relationship as such just a couple of long distance ones which petered out mainly due to the distance. I also have a severe health problem similar to crohns which I have to take meds for which doesn't help. I also still live with my parents and don't drive which doesn't help and makes me feel a bit of a burden. I'm also quite an introverted gay guy whose teetotal and loves football (can't play for toffee) so a feel a bit of an outcast of the gay scene and straight scene. Apologies if this comes across as depressing. I'm just so frustrated and feel stuck in a rut :help:
Hey uk_guy, Sorry you feel like you're in a rut. That's no fun. One thought. Is there something that makes it so you can't drive? Or did you just never learn? You could work on that. It would give you some independence and a feeling of accomplishment. If you're parents seem against you learning, you could explain that you want to know how so you could help in an emergency. Pick a driving school in a gay neighbourhood.
I can definitely relate to your post. I have similar concerns about being out when I move to a new town soon. I think Really makes an excellent suggestion. Driving gives you some freedom and independence and also doesn't do your confidence any harm at all. I used to be a mad football fan, so I can assure you there are some gay football fans out there, the hard bit is finding them! The hardest thing to do is to keep putting yourself out there. If you keep making new friends then it is only a matter of time. I have read so many stories about people who found each other after being a friend of a friend. Hang in there!
Hey, Are there any groups or meetups for gay football fans that you can join? It would give you more opportunites to meet guys that you have something in common with than at a usual gay bar/club. As Tbob said, there's plenty of gay football fans out there, it's just a case of connecting with them.
Hey Really Thank you for reading my post and replying. I've just never had the urge to drive, I've mostly used public transport to get around, to work and see the few friends I have. I'm not in a great position to start driving due to money and my parents have scrimped and saved to provide what I have which I appreciate a lot. ---------- Post added 10th Aug 2015 at 04:44 PM ---------- Hi Thob, Thank you for taking time to read my post and reply. I just wish it was easy to find these fellow gay football fans. :bang: As mentioned before I just struggle speaking to new people it takes me months to build a good rapport with people. I think it also doesn't help that I have 0 gay friends who can sympathise with what I'm going through. ---------- Post added 10th Aug 2015 at 04:49 PM ---------- Hey AdelOwl, thank you for your reply and reading my post. I live in a small town between Brighon and London, so sadly there are not many Boro fans down this way (Middlesbrough are on the other side of the England), I will look online to see if there are any gay groups into football in the local area.
No worries. Living near London will hopefully give you more options and I'd be amazed if Brighton don't have at least a few gay fans! It might not be the same as watching Middlesbrough, but at least it would give you the chance to meet more people. I'm kind of curious why someone from the south would pick Boro as their club, though? Surely there are better teams that you could have chosen? :lol: I should add that I know it's a lot more difficult speaking to people when you're introverted. I used to really suffer from this and still do, to a degree. What helped me was moving cities a lot and therefore being placed in situations where I didn't have a choice but to interact with new people and be more outgoing. It's still not something that comes naturally to me but I just got better at faking the confidence until I could get to know people and relax around them. I don't know if you are studying or working etc., but do any of your colleagues go out for drinks after work/uni? Most of the people that I work with get together at the pub a few times a month and just chat about random stuff. It's a good way of getting to know people better in an informal setting. A lot of the people don't drink because they have to drive or for religious reasons etc., so being teetotal wouldn't be an issue.
It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack from what I've experienced so far :dry: I support Boro as generations back my family orginate from the area. Certainly different to most fans down south :lol: I think when I eventually move out that will help me meet more people and I'm not out at work as its quite homophobic at times :/
I'm sorry that the people that you work with are homophobic. Some people seem to think that the UK is some kind of utopia where homophobia doesn't exist but that certainly didn't seem like the case when I lived there. Hopefully you can find some LGBT housemates to share with and meet more people that way. Good luck for the rest of the season. The championship is going to be a difficult league this year, but you guys are definitely in with a shout!
It's more the profession I'm in is full of old fashioned views. How do you find Australia compared to the UK? Hopefully you are right, just have to take it one day at a time, small steps. Thank you, Boro still need a proven Championship scorer before we have a big chance imo.
Australia's pretty good. I'm in a smaller city called Adelaide, which is a bit more quiet and conservative than Melbourne or Sydney. It's a nice enough place to live though. Most of the people here are LGBT-friendly, although there's a vocal religious minority who are less tolerant (unfortunately the Prime Minister is one of them). Generally, I've found that Aussies have a relaxed, live and let live attitude. Have you done much travelling? It could be a great way of meeting new people if you get the opportunity. Bamford was a big loss but Stuani looks like he could be a useful signing and I'm sure Downing will chip in with a few goals. You should be guaranteed at least a play-off place. I'm just hoping that my team (Sheff Wed) can push on from last year. We've made some good signings, so hopefully we can finish at least in the top 10. I've learned the hard way not to be overly optimistic, though:lol:
That's good that most of the general population is quite open minded, one day opinions will change and Tony Abbott will not rule forever. Bet the weather is better than the UK. :lol: I went around Europe for 2 months alone, but stayed more in cheap hotels than hostels. Boro still need a proven Championship striker imo before we can challenge like last season, as long as there are no more Wembley trips as Boro have a woeful record there. I reckon Sheff Wed could be dark horses with the new owners depending on signings and the new manager. They will get 3 points against Boro as always :dry:
Not at the moment. It's winter here, so it's very cold and wet. Though by cold, I mean that it's around 10 deg C. It's not like it's snowing or anything :lol: The summers can be brutal though. It can get to over 45 deg and often doesn't rain for months. So yeah, it's been an interesting experience! The travelling around Europe sounds interesting. I'm kind of envious as that's something that I always wanted to do, but just never got around to it. Hopefully I'll be able to do it at some point in the future. I guess Boro now have a proven championship striker at least!
It's the UK and the summer so its raining :lol: I can't handle heat and melt in anything more than 25C. Though I bet the warm weather has its perks :icon_wink I went to lots of different football stadiums and if you can would recommend going traveling Yes they do the proof will be in goals scored at least they didn't spend tens of millions!
Yeah, at least there's no shortage of tanned, athletic guys! The beaches here are a bit different to Blackpool:lol: I've done some travelling around the US and SE Asia. Would love to see more of Europe though. Did you get to see a game at the Nou Camp? That's pretty high on my bucket list. Nugent was a pretty good deal, but it looks like Boro didn't need him after all!
Ha-ha I bet Despite the wildlife, the beaches are at least sandy unlike some in the UK lol. I did indeed the Barcelona derby with Espanyol, I was at the corner flag, also went to the Bernabeu too. I'd say yes we will later on, not every game will be as easy as today's.
Sounds like you picked a good match to go to at the Nou Camp. I bet the atmosphere was amazing! Yeah, I'm sure Nugent will be useful later on. I just hope he hasn't regained match fitness by the time you play us. We actually went top of the league for two whole minutes on Saturday. I've got a feeling that's going to be the highlight of our season, though :icon_sad: Any luck with finding any local gay football fans/groups?
Hey UK_guy, I'm in the UK and pretty late to all of this myself, not sure I can give advice but im here to chat if you need it.
Hi there Thanks for reading, I'll take you up on your offer ---------- Post added 16th Aug 2015 at 09:15 PM ---------- It was even though the game wasn't great and the steward was awful :dry: Sheff Wed will win again against Boro, ghost goal or not The Championship is an open division and anyone could go up look at Bournemouth last season. I've found a website and waiting to hear back
