Positive interactions, events associated with coming to terms with your sexuality

I commuted to a local college for 2 years and then transferred to another where I had to live on-campus. The first week I was there, I went to a bar with a bunch of other people and met a guy from my floor who I just thought was great fun. We ended up hanging around together constantly, and when my roommate flunked out and his decided he wanted a single room, us moving in together was a no-brainer. I was totally crushing on him and we were together almost every waking moment. We really functioned as boyfriends (and everyone really regarded us as such) although neither if us were out at the time. We roomed together for 5 semesters and I ended up having one drunken sexual encounter with him. I still regarded "gay" as a way of living rather than an orientation, so I never actually came out at the time (although he did shortly after I graduated, which devastated me because I would have come out in a flash if I believed he loved me).

Now that I am much (muchmuchmuchmuch) older and finally out, I remember those feelings of happiness and crushing and attachment that I had for him--only now I have a partner who feels the same way about me, and I feel very youthful as I go through so many of those wonderful emotions as an adult who can appreciate them better, with someone who actually shares them with me.

 

Growing up I didn't understand why I didn't get "crushes" on boys like the other girls my age. I actually manufactured stories about the guys I "liked" to seem more normal to the kids around me. To be honest, I found myself drawn to people for their personalities more than their looks. (And I was absolutely attracted to girls just as strongly as boys... even the dreams I kept in a journal show that!)

I did the normal dating thing, met my husband who I love to bits, got married, and forgot about my earlier confusion. Then while I was at college I had a series of friends come out of the closet, and each of them picked me as the first person they told. It got me thinking about my own history and just why I was so "safe" to talk to and I realized what I had tried so hard to forget.

I came out as bi to my husband a few years after we were married and expected him to have problems with it. (both our families are extremely conservative.) His reaction was amazing. He looked at me silently, blinked twice, and then said, "And?" That was it! It was the best affirmation of love I could have asked for. Just the simple realization that my orientation didn't really change our relationship was all I needed. Since then we've had a lot of fun people watching together with me pointing out hot women for us to stare at.

 

I'm still in the beginning of my journey, as I'm only thirteen, but I've got one ^.^

I've always had crushes on boys, but they were never that big. I'd see an attractive boy and imagine myself with them because they were attractive, but I knew if they told me they liked me back, I wouldn't really accept because I couldn't see myself with them.

In fourth grade (yeah that's really young) I met this girl and I was drawn to her. It didn't feel like a crush at the time, but I always wanted to be with her, and she didn't like me much so she made me do stupid things for her, and I complied. I was desperate for her and needed to see her every day.

I'm still not entirely sure what my sexuality is, but I know I've never been sexually attracted to guys- I was in sixth grade, and I got my first laptop and well, even though I was pretty young, I looked up dirty fanfiction. I also suffered from depression and felt really lonely, so I had a really good imagination and could picture things in my mind. And guys never really appealed to me.

Now, it was seventh grade, and I'm even closer to my best friend who I've known four years. (The girl I mentioned above) I had a few boy crushes that year, but they weren't as strong as I felt for her, and I was in denial for her. One night I had this sexual dream with her and it was so amazing. I hated myself for it, and forced myself to see guys and only guys.

I sort of forgot about it then, and soon eighth grade came by. We were even closer. On thanksgiving night, we both were really angry with our families for certain reasons, and she said I would be the perfect sister. That made me so happy, I felt even closer to her. We stayed sisters for many months. I had depression most of this year, and she was the biggest help ever. There was a winter dance at our school, and this boy asked her out. I couldn't describe what I felt then. She told me she didn't like him and she was flattered, but she might accept to not hurt his feelings. I cried so much.

Eventually, I convinced her not to accept, because she didn't like him and it wasn't fair on either of them. She soon told me she was crushing strongly on two people, and one of them was this boy, and he was dating our best friend. Again, I was really, really jealous but I couldn't pinpoint exactly why. She also refused to mention the second person and I was hurt. More jealous than I should be for a friend. I really, really loved her, but I was denying it was romantically and forced myself to push these feelings back because it'd ruin our "sister" relationship. She eventually said she didn't like him anymore.
On new years, we talked a lot. It somehow moved to the subject of Gay/lesbian relationships, and I said I could never be with a girl but I support it. She acted a little disappointed, and said she liked guys but if the perfect girl came, she would care for her just as much. Later on, before sleeping, she sent me this really long, sweet new year's message. And at the end she added "But I'm not lesbian for you or anything" and I was so upset.

A little over a month later, we were all snuggled up (We always are when we see each other) and we kissed (Everywhere but lips) in a "sisterly" way. After she left my house, she texted me, and eventually told me she really, really liked me. I was really flustered but eventually I told her I did too..

So yeah, it's been six months~ I'm still young and just beginning though~

That was long...hehe

 

Not as big as the previous posts, but today at the pool, I was talking to a new neighbor who seems really cool, and our kids play together too. I told her I was gay, and I felt great saying it, and it turns out that her 18 year old daughter is bi, and that their family went to the last two Pride parades even. I feel like I am making good progress.

 

Me & my best friend fell in love and formed a relationship several months ago. We are wanting to eventually leave our husbands (who right now are not accepting it, it will take some time as neither of us wants a nasty custody battle) and start a life together. We had an emotional relationship before a physical one, we were together practically every day, and when we weren't together we were calling and texting). The first night we were together was an amazing experience. It felt so natural and it was eye opening bc I honestly up until then didn't know what it was like to desire your partner. Its been that way ever since I never knew what it felt like to be completely in love with someone. Both of us had unhappy marriages we settled on to have families, and we both basically just tolerated our spouses, never wanting to have a sex life only doing when we had to. But together its a completely different story. Anyways, a few people know about us, not a lot. One friend Ive known since before I was even married, I broke down and told her one day. I thought it was going to shock her but it didn't. She just gave me a hug and said if that's what makes me happy then I should be happy and she was happy for me. Another friend a few weeks later basically said the same. Shes told a couple friends too, so far no negative reactions . My family knows (because my husband told them) but hers does not and she is afraid to tell them.

 

One of my biggest and best things was falling for my best friend when I was 16. We were both in a long term psych facility, so I saw him constantly, and I just remember how all I wanted to do was be around him. We would go for a walk down to the store on the grounds, chill, smoke a cig and one time he didn't have money for something and I gave it to him of course. Sounds silly but in that simple moment I just knew how I would have done anything for him and given him anything I had. He didn't feel the same when I finally was able to tell him, but I just remember that intoxicating, beautifully agonizing feeling of just being around him.
The second was when I was 19 and it was the first time I saw Gavin Rossdale. From the first time I saw him, I remember being instantly smitten. Every time one of their videos came on, the world just stopped and I would wait impatiently for each glimpse of him and just melt looking at him. To this day, I still get those butterflies in the stomach just seeing him. I swear, when the universe handed out sexy, he must've jumped back on line at least three more times. Oh and honorable mentions gotta go out to Brad Pitt, who while I have crushed on longer.....he has made some questionable hairstyle choices that I never cared for. But Brad circa 1996 just blows my mind every time.

 

:eusa_clap
Awesome sister!

 

I just got to tell my trans-female sister that I'd be happy to go shopping with her at the mall so she can get an idea of what fits before doing major online shopping. The excitement and pride in her eyes was fantastic to see.

I'm a helper!

 

Great idea! I need some happy stories! Um...can't think of any right now. But it is really nice to read the happy stories of others!

zgirl81 - that is so awesome. Your sister is very lucky to have you!!!