Hi I am 40 years old. I just had my heartbroken by this girl I had been seeing a few weeks. I fell for her, the biggest infatuation of my life, the best sex of my life. Everything felt right. I never had that feeling of fulfillment with a man. I only started only seeing women ONLY a couple of years ago. Before that , there was a lot of switching between both sexes. I thought it was normal to want to be with a girl , or be with one between boyfriends, or that fantasizing about a woman while I was with a man was normal. I can't come unless I think it is a woman that is having sex with me. But I kind of had this thing in the back of mind , like my own personal little thing I did not want to think about. Now, after experiencing her, I know this is IT. I need to come out to my mom ( I will visit her in Buenos Aires on December) . I am having a hard time accepting my sexual identity. Outside I seem very OK with, I date, I hold hands, but inside me I feel bad and like i will disappoint my parents. Is this a normal part of the process? How have been your experiences?
Oh this is totally normal helenna11!! I'm 38 and the idea of coming out to my conservative religious mom - ugh. The worry of disappointing parents never goes away does it? But I am guessing from reading the comments here that coming out to your mom will also help you to accept yourself. And even if she reacts badly, that you will learn through it that you are not "bad" for feeling such a natural thing!! Good luck! And I'm sorry about the heartbreak. I am going through the same thing. So just big (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) from me - you (and I!) will get through this.
Thanks BidiKlum! Reading many posting here is great because there are so many similar experiences. I think my mom will be fine, I am talking to my cousin tomorrow over the phone. They live in Buenos Aires where I am from, so I am hoping that by December, my mind will be clearer. Also, what I am doing now is coming out to friends, people that are not super close. Kind of rehearsing and getting used to saying it. I am not expecting my mom to react negatively. I think she suspects it. I am very feminine but I have taken her to tons of queer events and there has been years since I have not dated a man. I am only child and I hate the idea of disappointing. I am hoping that being here will help me with my self-acceptance.
Isn't it nice? To feel so alone and then find this and realize that ... we aren't that crazy after all? Just a little bit crazy. Sounds like you are in a better place and also that your mom will probably not react negatively. If she is anything like mine she probably just wants granddkids and may be sad that this means she is less likely to get them (not that it isn't still possible but you know). Good luck and feel free to check in any time. (&&&)
