I am hoping others in here will relate. As I slowly build up my LGBT friends off of the computer, I look online, for a more immediate feeling of community. Facebook is where I have gone most. Here is my rant. Pretty much all of the lesbian groups I have tried...even the over 40 ones, pretty much do nothing but post endless empty shallow and juvenile content. At first it felt liberating to look at memes with sexy women, and jokes about wanting to have sex with women, and other 'lesbian' stuff, but it didn't take long before I was left wondering if that's all there was? That, and when for whatever reason I try to strike up one on one dialogue with someone from these groups, no matter how many times I have stated that I am just looking for friends, it becomes apparent rather quickly, that the other person is thinking other things, and I find that a turn off. Like they could care less about getting to really know me first. I just want lesbian friends...and other members of the LGBT community. Why is it so freaking hard? I also have been scouring for lesbian meet ups for my area, but most of the stuff they do during them is costly, and I do not have any money....and/or I will look at the photos and think that I will have nothing in common with these people. I feel like such a judgmental bitch for even posting that, but I also feel better for getting it out there in a safe environment. Desperately seeking counter-culture LGBTs. :icon_wink
Hi Do not feel bad gay FB groups are worse. Lurkers mostly who NEVER participate. One guy is a gay realtor and only looks for clients. However... I did find a jewel in the sewer. Rare but out there. Keep posting your stuff your way and the jewels will shine.
Thanks, I'm glad it's not just me, I did make one good find though so far. A forty plus woman who is newly out and was posting about it in a FB group. I was happy to be able to share OC with her so she can get some real support.
Oh gosh...this made me laugh. You're so right. The lesbian groups on FB can be quite juvenile, but there are stars to be found there. On a side note, they can be somewhat entertaining if you enjoy the drama...from afar :badgrin: We met three women from one FB site and they've been our friends for a while. Try not to feel overwhelmed. All you need is one friend. We lesbians travel in packs and once you find one, you'd be instantly connected to the gang.
The online groups can be interesting but weird. One gay dads group I was on ended up getting tiresome mighty fast because it was largely a group of soccer moms with penises who were relentlessly pc and shared everything but pictures of their kids' poop. Another group was started by someone who supposedly wanted camaraderie but ended up offending multiple members and then leaving in a huff. Another group has been in turmoil lately because someone who was in the group for 3 years along with a supposedly gay brother and stepfather turned out to all be fabrications cobbled together from his or her imagination and pictures taken from assorted strangers' facebook and instagram pages. The sad part of that is that the phony had scammed some hapless nice guy into a long distance relationship that led to the truth coming out. On the flip side, my partner and I met online and started falling for each other before we ever met in person. Nothing might come of it, or something great could. Either way, you can't will the lottery if you don't buy a few tickets.
Isn't that they way any group of people are anyway. Whatever the commonality, people are just a pile of mixed nuts. You just need to find your flavor :lol:
Sue Baloo, I feel your pain. Chicago is a hub for GLBT but the suburbs do not have many resources and bars are just too much of 'a pick up' venue. Sigh.
:newcolor: <<my new favorite smiley ---------- Post added 21st Aug 2015 at 02:13 PM ---------- you obviously have been there too <3 ---------- Post added 21st Aug 2015 at 02:15 PM ---------- and IDK, actually if I find groups that are more counter culture, I do tend to relate more, counter culture is a magnet for insane people, but that is easier for me to deal with then white bread folk. lol. ---------- Post added 21st Aug 2015 at 02:18 PM ---------- It's true isn't it? I hated the suburbs before I came out even. I am just here for the kids, and want to move to Seattle in two years when i get my degree. Maybe I need to get to Chicgao more in the meantime. The idea is a bit overwhelming because I never go, and the city seems to be so not car friendly.
lol Sue, free and available parking is nice! And you are right, suburbs are great for the kids although sometimes I wish the LGBT presence was greater in the burbs for us and the kids. It really is hard to meet new people the older I get unless joining a group of some sort. And I am not much of a groupie.
I am hoping that being in college will help me. Hopefully they will have some sort of an LBGT alliance that I can join.
I live in the suburbs of Chicago, and for me and my situation it is difficult Bc I am in no way out to anyone about my preferences. I would love to find people who are in the same situation as me, that I can talk to and relate with but it's very hard esp when I feel I have to do a lot of my exploring and socializing in secret. It's very frustrating. Not a lot of people understand what I am currently going through and I don't feel safe telling a lot of people because of being judged. My husband is not a great support Bc he is threatened by my attraction to women...so I feel stuck a lot of the time... I do find EC helpful, it is a bit of a bright light to me this is really the only place I can find anyone who truly understands.
Who knows, on EC you may meet someone in your neck of the woods that you trust enough to do things with in public. Even if it's just another LBGT person to sit with at a coffee shop, and talk about being gay, and maybe adventuring out on other outings like gay movies, gay bars, parades, lectures etc. It seems like just making that first friend in out own area is a a major hurdle for all of us who come out late....but I believe that it is going to happen for us all. (*hug*)
Thirdtimecharm, Just getting back to your comment now. I know it is very difficult to feel the way you do and not have people in person you can talk about it with. Feel free to pm me if you need to vent.
I feel the same way. I want to meet people but I have no idea how to go about it. :icon_sad: I just want a friend!!:tears: :roflmao: I hope you have better luck than I seem to be having. :lol:
Lead and others will follow. So start you own network and emphasis your values and goals. I do hear the dilemma.
