Moving?

Yes it's worth it. I'm going to be doing that soon actually. Honestly, I don't know how else to get involved in the gay community. There's very little where I currently live and I hate it. I can't get close to anyone because it's just too conservative. I want to be out but I can't be out here. So I'm moving to a big city that's next to another big city. There are several LGBT meetups in that area plus a LGBT community center. If I explore enough I should find where I belong. I hope anyway.

 

Almost any major city in the US will have a fairly cohesive gay community. I know we always manage to find it when we travel. I'm from Salt Lake City and my partner is from Oklahoma City and, rather surprisingly, both have rather thriving communities. I mean they're not New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Atlanta, Houston, etc. but really decent size communities. If it's a fairly major city and you would even consider going there on a vacation you can probably build an alright gay life there.:icon_wink

 

Not west, but Austin has a fairly large LGBT community and it's liberal. Plus, it's a great city to live in.

 

Hi

You must consider job market first and cost of living second.

This economy is tough on jobs and housing collapse has apartment rents high.

Do you have an easily transferred careeer?

Pragmatic side of things in US.

I moved to MA from ON and I cannot get close to Boston and nort shore MA is gay old school.

I have heard a number of long term openly gay lament the changes in gay culture since the 80's.

Evidently acting more straight. Stigmatizing and loss of group support.

HIV is good example. In the 80's those affected had rallied support from LGBT community. Now those same men/women are ignored and stimatized.

You ask a good question....

 

Good for you for taking the bull by the horns and actually trying to do something. I think it's a great idea and could be worth some financial hardship but obviously only you can make that decision. My advise would be to make sure you have a plan but don't be too pragmatic. It's always going to be easier to do nothing. I still think it's worth dreaming a little, and acting on those dreams. I hope things work out well for you.

 

Yes, geographical location can make a huge difference. However, I can offer this:
I'm looking at doing the same thing myself, but through experience and knowledge of the areas find the rent situation in Philadelphia and New York to be unbearable. I didn't come out of the closet to have to live in a literal one that i have to work three jobs to afford-and hence am unable to participate in the very social life I moved there to have!
I'm impressed with the cost of living of some of the cities on this list. I have to tell you, I'm kind of intrigued by the presence of Des Moines. No offense, Iowans, but I did NOT see that one coming.
http://http://www.vocativ.com/culture/lgbt/vocativ-queer-index/

 

Yes, definitely worth it, especially if you are at a point where you feel a need to be out and work and in your community, and if you are looking to actively date or get serious with someone.

Before choosing a place, do extensive research on what it's really like to be gay in that community, and do consider that living in a cheaper segment of a gay-friendly city often means living in the most homophobic area of it, and maybe still feeling like you need to be a bit closeted in your neighborhood but not when you go out into the more openly LGTBQ-friendly part. That continues to change in countries like the US, but still, for instance, there is a big difference between living in the outskirts of the Bronx and living in Lower Manhattan, for instance. (Plus, sometimes the commute in from the cheaper place to the gay mecca takes 1-2 hours, in the same large city, which can isolate you.)

One way to research the community is to check out gay MeetUps in that zip code. Also, look for the closest LGBTQ Center nearby. Are their PFLAG meetings? Gay bars? Check Yelp reviews, City Data, all those kinds of community resources to see what's going to be available there. It would suck to make a big move for a gay-friendly environment, and then find out the scene there is barely larger than your current one.

Keep in mind too, in terms of finances, that most large cities pay more than the small towns (and usually have far more job opportunities), so in a year or so of living there you might be able to save up enough to live in a nicer area even if at first all you can afford is a single bedroom in an apartment of 6 roommates. For many people it's worth it, but of course for some it's just not - they want a house and a yard and to feel like an adult and all of that.

If you are open to city life, I vote Yes! Do it! Keep in mind too though that some areas of the country are gay-friendly and are NOT cities. For instance, in FL, one of the most gay-friendly areas is Weston, which is a suburban community. Or Asheville, NC. It doesn't always require skyscrapers. But such places to tend to be more desirable, and thus cost more, and sometimes that is a problem because they have fewer job opportunities that a large city unless you fit into their niche market of jobs. Things to consider.

 

Great idea! Meetup has an option to search 10 or 25 (or other) miles from a zip code, or you can enter a city name. And, like others said, it doesn't have to be a super-huge gay area. There are plenty of cities with enough gay people to give you the kind of community you want. Some might be close enough to one of the larger cities to give you the option of going to other events sometimes.

And, to answer the original question -- YES, DO IT!