Late in life

Seems like your oath is consistent with many who have shared similar experiences. And at 41, no way is it too late. It never is too late. I was 42 myself.

I do now look at my life in three pieces. My initial adolescence, which was a n emotionally and physically active state of exploration and confusion up to my early 20's. My straight life, which was from my early 20's to 42, and now my true self. Gay, out and proud; and very happy with finally recognising and accepting whom I am.

Life is a journey. No two paths are the same. Each journey is individual to the participant. Will there be similarities, of course, but the goal is for each of us to find self fulfilment and satisfaction; whatever that may mean for each of us.

 

Hey lateinlife, there is a whole group of us here who are married with kids and late in the realization of our sexuality. Welcome to the group! We are all at different stages but this is a great supportive environment.

 

Instead of allowing thoughts of regret and confusion to fill your mind, focus on the joy and relief of the realization that you have found your true self.

At 41 your life is beginning anew and you have loads of time ahead of you to enjoy life in an entirely different and meaningful way.

Congratulations! (*hug*)

Ps. And Yes, lesbian sex is the best! :icon_wink

 

Several of us are reading a book called "sexual Fluidity: understanding women's love..." By Lisa Diamond. We are hoping to discuss it as/after we read. You are welcome to join us!

 

I have this book on PDF. I will join you guys on this adventure.

 

:welcome:

 

I agree with others here (love EastCoastGirl's post!). Please don't beat yourself up. There's no "right" timeline for coming out. You do it when you're ready.

I'm only out to a few people right now. I need to concentrate on separating from my husband and getting over my exlover who was the catalyst in my need to acknowledge who I really am. While loving a woman isn't new to me (I had a girlfriend in my late-teens and early 20s), I've been married for almost 25 years. I always thought of myself as fluid, but I've lived and have been known as straight for a very long time. It's not easy leaving that identity for one that's truer, but it is liberating. I finally feel like I'm enjoying all of me.

And definitely know you're not alone. Like you, I was delighted to find this site and one other that I joined. Up until then, I only had myself and my husband to talk to about any of this. Having a supportive community is far better.

 

Sorry to hijack the thread, I have a question -

I'm wondering if you guys regularly chat or meet online here, or if it is just informal?

I'm close to 50, still married, 3 kids. Completely in love with my BFF who only loves me back as a friend. I've been with 2 women (including her) so I know this is real for me. I don't want to cheat on my husband, but I don't want to break up our family either, and I'm not ready to starve myself. Very conflicted. Anyhow, I'd love to connect with others feeling the same.

Thanks for any suggestions. Take care.

 

Just writing on here or ppl's walls right now

 

This is so true. At 40 realising that I couldn't be the straight, married father any more and now 2 years later, with a bf and realising that this is what makes me feel alive and happy and more importantly, a sense of belonging and being truly me for the first time in my life. I look back on the life I had before and I feel I'm looking at a different person who had different ideals, wants and needs but was unfulfilled and wanted something more (just didn't know what at that time!).

Good luck - and coming to EC is a great place to talk it all through