My bf seems to suspect I'm not happy and he keeps Asking me questions like are you happy with me, do you still enjoy sex with me, and more. These are opportunistic openings but I am not ready for it. I feel horrible telling him what he wants to hear but I need peace in out home until I figure my shit out. I'll be seeing a councillor, I wanted to talk to one before I jump in. We've got kids ( his and mine, none together) and I work shift work so I'll need over night babysitting at times. any shift workers out there had to face this? ---------- Post added 30th Aug 2015 at 11:57 PM ---------- I just emailed a councillor
I think you should take your time and do things/ tell him about things when you feel ready. It seems like something, a change has already started and I think that's an indication that you will get there at one point. I can't imagine how it is to have children and to be in this situation, I believe it's not easy at all. The councillor is a great idea, I think it will help a lot to put things in perspective and get some clarity. I know this is not much of an advice, I just wanted to wish you all the best with this and send you a hug because I know it's not an easy place to be in, but you are on the right path (*hug*)
I can completely relate to this situation as I recently split from my ex and am now getting ready to go thru custody hearings and such. Our girls are 10, 12 and 15. Now I'm having to work 70 hr weeks again and have had to ask my mother to move in with me so that there is supervision for my girls when I'm not available. Its not an envious position to be in, but in the end knowing you're finally fee to live as you truly feel, that part is wonderful.
So I took an opening and finally told him that I'm questioning my sexuality. He took it well, too well, and he has missed ther point entirely. He said I was silly for feeling that way, he already knows I'm bi and he said I was allowed to sleep with as many woman as I want. Then he reminded me of all the fun times we have had over the years, and he keeps posting old photos of us having fun on Facebook and tagging me in them then he made me go through old photo albums with him. He thinks that being extra lovey dovey will "help" but it's just pissing me off. Plus, he keeps talking about marrying me, and what our future plans were.
That sounds really frustrating. I guess you have to spell it out for him... Not that this would be easy! :bang: Good for you for bringing it up though, I haven't gotten that far. Maybe he gets it, and this is his way of trying to squash it.
I told him again that I'm questioning myself and I need space. I told him all the overly affectionate stuff had for to stop. I told him it makes me very uncomfortable. He said he thought we had an agreement. I reminded him that it was just him taking in circles while I say there uncomfortably, him repeatedly I'm not ready to discuss this issue in depth until after I've spoken to my councellor. He realized I was right and has been sulking e ever since, blasting county music with specific lyrics about being in pain. But, he's leaving me alone
It is hard enough being in this position, and it must be so much harder if you don't feel you can be 100% fully honest with someone because of commitments and children under your care. I'm glad you emailed a councilor. If you want, let us know how it goes or if it helps. Even talking to one person can be such a relief, it helps me enormously each time I can connect with someone and be honest about my situation. I'm by no means out of the maze yet, (could be months, years, or never) but when I talk to someone I can feel myself making a few steps at a time. Ps your avatar is friggin awesome, are you an artist?
I had emailed our couples counsellor, she recommended that I talk more With my personal counsellor because he knows me far better than she does. We've only seen her 3 times, and it was got his anger issues. I'll be seeing my counsellor soon I hope! No, I'm not an artist. I don't remember where I got that picture but I am very much in love With it!! Lol might have been my phone background a few phones ago.
