Timing...

Is one ever really ready to come out....
You said you feel ready. I have read several of your posts and you are very confident in who you are and what you want. Speak from your heart and speak your truth. I can tell from how you write and things you say that you know exactly who you are. Be proud of yourself and start living the life you want.

Isn't there a saying that if we wait until we are ready for things they will never happen....

Good luck, I believe in you, you can do it.

 

It's normal esp Bc you have been living essentially as a different person for so long, now is your opportunity to be you, 100 % you....think about what you would tell your son to do. What would be your advice to him? You're his biggest supporter, now be ur biggest supporter.

Recommendation, for a boost of confidence watch Ingrid Nilsons coming out video, it always gives me a warm feeling of being proud of who I am....

 

I very much understand being the peace keeper. You're probably a caregiver too, always taking care of everyone else's needs. I am very much a caregiver.

It's a difficult spot to be in. You will know when you are ready. It will just happen...

As you know, there is lots of support here. I am always here to lend an ear if you need one

 

I agree with Thirdtimecharm, you really seem confident about what you want and who you are and your posts reflect this all the time, you seem to be so honest with yourself and straight forward

I think that means that you are definitely on the right track, but even like this it makes sense for anxiety to appear as these are some freaking big changes in a persons life.

Not sure what I could say more, maybe just what I found out these days that would help me too - if you need to push yourself out of your confort zone and you feel is the right time, do it by all means, just be gentle with yourself. I think if and when we do this from a position of self-love and self-respect then we cause the least harm to the other person.

So when things calm down a bit, you are not fighting and you both have time to talk I think that would be a good time to do it.

Good luck and I really admire you for your strenght (*hug*)

 

I agree with what has been said above, I think its normal to feel anxiety. I have three adult daughters, all of which knew that I had dated a woman when they were very young, but was pushed back into the closet. My ex also knew this, and I had always said "If anything were to ever happen between "ex" and I, I would no longer be dating men, ever." I was terrified, anxious, felt guilty, apprehensive, and many other things... even though I felt like I had said it often enough for them to not be shocked by it lol. That being said, they were shocked, and I had to sit and talk with them and soothe them. I will never regret coming out, but everyone has to do it in their own time, with their own voice, this is your experience. Breathe deeply, and know that when the words leave your lips, that you are speaking your truth, and yours alone. Good luck! Sending you strength and support!

 

My understanding is that you shouldn't come out during the course of a fight if it can be avoided, however, as we're all feeling edgy because we're ready to come out, all of us are likely to be in more fights during which we might actually end up dropping the "and I'm a lesbian."
So here's the thing, when the time is right for it to happen, it will happen. I've learned here that it is really hard to gauge a person's reaction anymore. But if you're fighting with the person they may come at you more viciously or say things they don't mean-in other words, the reaction may be artificially harsh due to the nature of fighting. But after the dust clears, I think their acceptance or rejection would be the same as if you weren't fighting. That's not going to change.
Just try to stay calm and when you're ready you'll be able to handle what you have to say. I'm still not at that point with everyone in my life yet.

 

Oh babe, I'm sorry, this sounds really tough. But maybe just get it over with? You mentioned that you are not good at confrontation, I've heard of other people writing a letter and then reading it to the other person, could that work for you? Good luck...xx

 

Sorry it didn't work out for you last night.

I have been in a similar situation regarding control, the more he tries to control, the colder you're going to be and the cycle will continue.

I don't like confrontation either, but it sounds like it will be healthier for you and ur kids when you finally tell him so you can begin the separation process. You don't want things to get worse, you deserve to be happy.

Things happen for a reason. You will do what you feel is right when u feel it is time.

 

sometimes the treatment is rough but the cure so worth it. (*hug*)