I think I really am going to come out to my husband on Tuesday in therapy, even though all logic goes against it. My therapist expects me to, and I think I'm going to just take the leap. I'm not really ready for the fall-out, financially or emotionally, but I've been lying to him for too long and he is in pain. I am trying and trying to be close to him, to give him the physical affection he craves, but for years I have just been unable to do it. We bicker constantly about my "distance," and now that I'm sure of why I am so distant, it's getting even harder to try and force it. I feel like a terrible person for stringing him along. This is exemplified by the fact that I'm now 54 days sober thanks to AA, and I can't mask my feelings with alcohol. So I feel like I have 2 choices: be completely honest, or go back to drinking. The latter isn't happening. I'm glad I have you all to listen. Thank you. Life is going to get a little insane.
First of all, congratulations on54 days sober! And logic sometimes isn't as logical as you think, especially in hind sight. You are brave and you know all of us here on ec are rooting for you!
Strong work on staying sober. One thing does concern me though. Your therapist expects you to come out? If you are ready then great I just hope you aren't being somehow coerced into it before you're ready.
Congrats on 54 days being sober. From what you've written, it sounds like you are doing what you need to do by coming out to your husband. Not clear from what you've written why it's illogical. If you haven't already done so, you may want to prepare a script of what you are going to say and script answers to his possible questions. Good luck (&&&)
Congratulations on Being sober that long! I think If You have the strength to stay sober for 54 days, you have the strength to come out to your husband. (But if you're only doing it because your therapist told you to, you may not be ready.) And at least he will know why you've been distant. Be prepared for him to ask question too. I hope he accepts you and understands. Keep us updated <3
Congrats and good luck! Please let me know how things go, I'm bracing myself to do the same thing and I'm so scared.
Thanks everyone. I should have clarified. My therapist expects me to because I told her I was going to. She definitely takes my lead.
Happy 55, much like the speed limit, please be sure and set your own pace. I think it is great that your therapist holds you accountable. Sobriety and honesty go hand in hand. Congratulations on your accomplishments - J
