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Pros of coming out

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by CameronMR, Sep 19, 2015.

  1. CameronMR

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    I don't have to wake to anyone groping my butt(and other areas) but I still can't sleep through the night.

    Your turn. :icon_bigg
     
  2. Logan40

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    If it's the right person, a bit of butt groping isn't a bad thing :wink:. I get where you are coming from though.
     
  3. CameronMR

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    Lol yep, not against butt groping per se.... ;-)
     
  4. Choirboy

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    I can wake up groping someone else's butt, or whatever, and know that they'll respond in a way I like!
     
  5. CameronMR

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    Another pro, no faking it!
     
  6. mellie

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    Being able to look at yourself in the mirror and know that that person isn't living a lie.
     
  7. Zen fix

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    The chance to be happy.
     
  8. ebda30

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    Talking about it mostly openly withthe people that know. Especially my husband, I feel this may have been a big area of contention, maybe. Between usbecause of my not being.completely honest with what I felt I was. Still am.not ajrs but having the ability to tak to him about it is nice :slight_smile:
     
  9. SiennaFire

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    Having been in the closet so long, I was out of touch with my own emotions and feelings since I hid my true self for so long. As I've come out, I've torn down the walls of my closet built on the foundation of my faux self. I'm beginning to pick up the pieces and reconstruct myself as a gay man. Now I'm feeling more authentic and more connected with reality.
     
  10. CameronMR

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    far fewer anxiety attacks! I have only had one since being out, before they were daily, sometimes several times a day. I haven't cried either!
     
  11. High Art

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    Honesty. Integrity. Feeling like I'm being the kind of person I would like to be.

    ---------- Post added 19th Sep 2015 at 05:05 PM ----------

    Con: the heartbreak
     
  12. CameronMR

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    I slept through the night last night. Only difference was my ex was away camping with his kids so it was just me in bed, This is a sign.

    ---------- Post added 20th Sep 2015 at 12:05 PM ----------

    and I am all about paying attention to signs, especially after realizing ive been missing some big rainbow signs my whole life....
     
  13. angeluscrzy

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    The biggest pro I've found is finally I feel "real". I want to care for myself better, before I think I just resigned myself to things and stopped caring very much about myself. Now I'm taking my bp meds as I should have been all along, I'm exercising and trying to get in shape (never big, I'm 6'2" and 155lbs), I just have a goal of working my way to a 6-pk before I turn 40.
    I feel more genuine. I'm allowing myself to feel attractions to guys and not feeling shame about them either. Still haven't met a guy yet, but I'm hopeful.
     
  14. CameronMR

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    it's true, what they say about coming out being like a second adolescence. I spent the weekend making rainbow friendship bracelets. LOL and a necklace! I think its quite clear now, that I am a lesbian with how many rainbows I have milling about..... Now hopefully all the cute gay girls will pop out of the woodwork...lol
     
  15. angeluscrzy

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    I am thinking tax time going out and splurging on a new tattoo. Something pride. Thought about a bracelet or something, but then I just know a tattoo is more my style. Thinking of a rainbow atheism logo. Let people know I'm queer and godless in one shot.
     
  16. BMC77

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    For practical purposes, I'm not out, apart to a couple of people whom I occasionally see. Only one is one I'd likely see in day to day life (a cashier at my usual grocery store, who is also LGBT).

    Coming out to myself, however, had a couple of advantages. It also has helped explain and clarify so much about me and my past history.

    Also there is a huge personal energy savings, as I no longer have to carefully engineer excuses to keep the denial going.

    I'm honestly not sure that I see much advantage in coming out publicly at this point. Actually, I feel the potential losses might be too great (losing a good reference, and possibly generating problems with a neighbor). The one advantage I hypothetically see is that if people know, they might be able to connect me with some guy they know, who might turn out to be Mr. Right.
     
  17. Mags the Goron

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    • You can comfortably make gay jokes without people looking at you weirdly. (Eg. "Ogay! Sorry, I just can't speak straight.") Of course, people may still look at you weirdly, but they won't be questioning your sexuality when they do so.
    • You can openly and comfortably make comments about hot people of the same sex without getting weird looks.
    • I thought of another, but I've forgotten it. :/
     
  18. Bearfix

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    Looking back at the false straight life that was getting lead and thinking "wow did i really live like that" and being able to put it to bed and crack on with the inner true self.
     
  19. Zen fix

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    Decreased anxiety about how you're going to come out, when, where, what wording to use, and so on and so forth.

    Kudos to you Cameron for making a positive post like this. Great change of pace.
     
    #19 Zen fix, Sep 20, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2015
  20. CameronMR

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    We all worry so much, then the moment is there, and we are thrown into emotional turmoil. We need the silver linings.

    Another good thing, no obligation to call or text as no overbearing texts demanding to know where you are. He wasn't too bad with this one, but he'd try to guilt trip me a few times when I wanted to hang out with a friends.

    A clear heart, a clear mind