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interesting resource...

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by CameronMR, Sep 22, 2015.

  1. CameronMR

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    My ex has found emotional support on a site called experience project. He has been talking to a women who is in my situation, but she is waiting to come out until her kid is 15.

    Apparently my ex needs to talk to me, but he is afraid that it will push me farther away but she is encouraging him to talk to me. So now I don't know how I feel today. What could push me away?? I mean I am the one pushing HIM away...

    I am having a hard time today, hard to focus on the positive. We are learning about domestic violence/abuse today. There were parts of our relationship that were abusive(verbal, and anger issues) and my previous relationship was all kinds of abusive to the point where the courts and police were involved. I am sitting at the back of the class today because I'm just crying through all the educational videos. This sucks.

    I don't even know how I feel
     
  2. CameronMR

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    he's so hurt and I feel like such a piece of shit right now, I miss his companionship but I am afraid to ask for friendship because I am afraid of hurting him more.

    It didn't feel as real until last night when he I noticed he changed his facebook status to single. it hurt.

    ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2015 at 12:15 PM ----------

    I keep asking, "how could I do this to my best friend?"
     
  3. Pathetic Coward

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    (*hug*)

    (&&&)

    That's all I got.

    PC
     
  4. High Art

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    (*hug*)
    I really understand what you are going through. It's so heart breaking. I don't have any advice, but I get it.
     
  5. mellie

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    I'm there with you. This sucks. But hopefully we look back and say, "Thank God I did that then, because look at how amazing my life is NOW..."

    Hugs.
     
  6. CameronMR

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    Thanks for the hugs, everyone. I bloody need them. I'm heading over to my friends house for dinner tonight, they don't know what's happened yet, maybe I'll mention it.
     
  7. IrishJ

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    Hugs from here as well. My guess is your journey will remain tidal, try and go with the water, too exhausting to swim against the tide. As a friend, I hope you would let me be there for you. Let the feelings rise to the surface.
     
  8. TeaTree

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    I also don't have any advice and you really seem steps ahead of me :slight_smile: But I really think that, as Mellie said, you'll look back to this later and see it from a totally different perspective.
    But now it totally sucks, and I get it. I'm freaking out about breaking up with my bf, but when people ask me "how is your bf doing?", snap, who? I realize we're already broken up in my mind.
    Doesn't make the real one less painful though.
    I don't want to lose my best friend either, so I totally get this.

    Here is a hug, hope it helps a bit (*hug*)
     
  9. bi2me

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    I hope you are able to get the support you need at dinner (*hug*)
     
  10. CapColors

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    Hugs HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS
     
    #10 CapColors, Sep 22, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2015
  11. CameronMR

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    thanks guys,

    I told my friends at dinner, they cried, I cried, we all cried, we hugged, then we had tea and laughs. Then more hugs. I have a great bunch of friends!!!

    still no TALK with the ex....he's watching a movie.
     
  12. CameronMR

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    well, that is that, fuck everything I am so happy this is over,

    ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2015 at 09:38 PM ----------

    I am so done being nice
     
  13. CameronMR

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    He basically told me that I'm lying about being a lesbian, and that my tears were fake so I told him to fuck off and I curled up on the bathroom floor and cried so hard I couldn't breathe
     
  14. bi2me

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    I'm sorry he said that to you. In the end, though, you have reasons beyond sexuality to want to move on, and his opinion doesn't change you.
     
  15. mellie

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    (*hug*)I'm sorry he was so cold. He's going through his own process as well. Keep your head up and be strong, even when it feels like you can't. Remember you are not responsible for his reactions, only your own.
     
  16. CameronMR

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    Today I think it will be ok. We are friends. He eats more to stay with him as his life companion and best friend. I said id think about it.
     
  17. Chicagoblue

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    ...wishing nothing but the best Cameron...
     
  18. CapColors

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    Can you please clarify? Was that a typo?

    HUGS to you both.
     
  19. Really

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    My guess is: "He wants me to stay with him..."
    Bloody autocorrect.
     
  20. CameronMR

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    Ugh...lol you got it.