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Do you escape through fiction?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by baristajedi, Sep 25, 2015.

  1. baristajedi

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    Maybe I'm a weirdo, or maybe I'm starting to make connections between everything in my life and my new clarity in my orientation.... But I am starting to think my love, my complete comfort and attraction with fantasy is somewhat related to my insecurity with my orientation.

    I realize that the idea of taboo love and taboo/misunderstood characters has always been something I'm drawn to in fiction.

    Anything to do with vampires, witches, etc. Willow with Oz, Willow with Tara, Buffy and Spike, Sookie and Eric, these are all part of my comfort zone. I'm naming a lot of Buffy, but that's just the best example at the top of my head.

    If anyone thinks I'm a total freak, don't worry, it's fine :slight_smile:.
     
  2. looking for me

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    how we work things out is unique to each of us. nothing weird that i can see.:icon_wink
     
  3. CapColors

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    Yes. I not only love fan fic because it's feminist but also because it's often queer.

    I am active in fandom and have made a number of artworks that were SO BI that it's a little embarrassing to look back on it now. I thought I made genderbent works because I love seeing women in men's roles; from a feminist perspective. And it's true that I did. (Who I was then is not erased by who I am now, I keep telling myself this.) But I also was expressing the synchronous duality of my own desire.

    In other words: my art is so bi it kills me ha.
     
    #3 CapColors, Sep 25, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2015
  4. baristajedi

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    I have to go back to read some of my old writing. I know the first story I ever wrote was a coming out story. At around 7 yo. The story was about me as a kid accidentally overhearing a family member coming out and being accepted and loved.

    ---------- Post added 25th Sep 2015 at 08:25 AM ----------

    Cap, I love that you had such a creative outlet. I feel like I need that now.
     
    #4 baristajedi, Sep 25, 2015
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  5. Kodo

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    In answer to the original question... Yes, I frequently escape through fiction.

    Often it feels as if my "best friends" are the characters I see and get to know through stories. Heck, I learn more from them than I do from real people. But that's just me.

    I like running away and being enveloped in a different world. It's invigorating... Though of course, it also shouldn't be done in excess otherwise we stagnate in real life whilst relying too heavily on our "fantasy worlds."
     
  6. CapColors

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    Totally go back to your writing---sounds like you might learn something. :slight_smile: Well, fandom is a great creative space. Nothing is too weird there and lots of women will help you hone your skills.

    Having a creative outlet is probably going to be one of the things that saves me, tbh. It's how I best process my feelings. My pain has to be good for something, right?

    That being said, I'm also going to eventually volunteer for some LGBT non profits once I'm out and my kids are a little older.

    Art and volunteering. If I can't have a girlfriend directly, I'll have to put that energy somewhere.
     
    #6 CapColors, Sep 25, 2015
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  7. baristajedi

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    I think this is where my head is at this point. I feel like I want to connect in as many ways as possible to this part of my identity even if I can't be fulfilled through a relationship with a woman.

    ---------- Post added 25th Sep 2015 at 09:34 AM ----------

    Sometimes I feel this way too, I get really immersed in these worlds, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
     
  8. bi2me

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    I read A LOT! It's a good escape, and it helps me keep my mind active rather than succumbing to mommy mind.
     
  9. Moonflower

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    I absolutely escape through fiction. Like some others posted, I write it. I've been working on the same book for two years off and on-up to about 300 pages now. After two years-writers will know what I'm talking about here-I've spent so much time with these characters that they're "almost family" to me.
    And yes, they are almost always gay, lesbian, or behave counter to gender expectations for the time period in which they live. I also enjoy reading fiction that deals with taboo subjects-and, like you said, vampires and the like. My favorite in that category would be Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. I absolutely abhor that Twilight business, however (and that's putting it politely).
    And CapColors- you have made a very profound statement:
    Who I was then is not erased by who I am now, I keep telling myself this. I'm going to turn that over in my brain awhile. I think it might provide a lot of clarity on things in terms of lost years, etc.
     
  10. baristajedi

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    I know a bit about that Mommy brain....

    ---------- Post added 25th Sep 2015 at 10:55 PM ----------

    Writing is such a good release. Do you have a particular genre that you write about?

    And regarding what Cap said, that also gives me pause. this is why I love EC, everyone is quite insightful, and you're all helping me immensely through this process!
     
  11. Moonflower

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    I'm working on historical fiction about real, presumably LGBT people from the past. My current book was started two years before my actual coming out experience this summer-which definitely speaks volumes to unconscious issues. Writing historical fiction is great because the basic plot is already there (the real historical event timeline) You as the writer get to embellish it within reason with interactions between characters. You get to really focus on characters, which I really enjoy.
    When writing historical fiction, every time the characters do, well, anything other than the obvious like ride a horse or light a fireplace, I've got do research on the activity-even eating! An offshoot of learning about the past is a great appreciation for both the past and the present.
     
  12. OnTheHighway

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    What I would give to be able to escape through fiction! I have such fond memories of my daydreams, my fantasy friends, the other worlds I embedded myself in when I was younger. But alas, the realities of life have buried those escapes deep down.

    But they have not disappeared! And I appreciate this discussion in helping me realise that.

    So, adding to my list this year is a new goal, escape back to fantasy!
     
  13. baristajedi

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    Your whole process of writing sounds very interesting! I love that it entails do much research. It's funny how obvious hindsight is when it's not obvious at all to our present minds.

    ---------- Post added 26th Sep 2015 at 06:18 AM ----------

    You should! I really do believe that immersing yourself in a fictional works from time to time is nurturing to our souls.

    ---------- Post added 26th Sep 2015 at 06:33 AM ----------

    *fictional world
     
  14. UniqueJourney

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    I have been an avid reader since first grade. I most definitely use fiction as an escape. It's my go-to way to relax and decompress. I particularly love fantasy set within a contemporary setting.
     
  15. blueshadedsoul

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    Yes, I do. I often have trouble dealing with the real world, & it definitely helps me to cope with it.
     
  16. Jellal

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    Always. For example, in my daily life, people just see me and treat me as a boy. It may just be a little change, but I appreciate getting to write from the perspective of a female character—not even necessarily with what you might call a "feminine outlook," it's just the smallest change that makes me feel more at home with myself. This is just one of the reasons that I like the world of fiction just as much, if not more, than reality.
     
  17. Kasey

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    I've played female characters as long as I can remember and am an avid role playingand sci-fi fan.
     
  18. Chloe

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    Reading and writing keep me sane. Having to go back in the closet is the easiest thing I'm dealing with in real life. Writing is the main thing keeping me in touch with my gay side. I've had a few short stories selected for publication and get a sense of connection to have my work in LGBT books. Reading in general is also one of my main forms of escape and relaxation, and while not all of it is LGBT, most is, when I can find something worthwhile.
     
  19. SnowshoeGeek

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    I'm not sure if it's exactly what you are referring to, but the title of the thread certainly grabbed me. I would say that I've been escaping into fiction my whole life. Often I identify with a misunderstood and unconventional character, someone sensitive who battles a world full of hostility. Most recently, though, discovering Orange is the New Black a couple of months ago, and falling in love with Alex, brought this entire sexual orientation back to the surface and led me directly to this website... so yeah, fiction is definitely playing a very large role in my life! :icon_redf
     
  20. baristajedi

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    You are all inspiring me to both tap into my creative side a bit more again and also to read and seek out some lgbt-empowering fiction and art.