Hey everyone! I hope that you are all going well. Over the past few days I have had this sinking feeling that I am letting life slip through my fingers. I know that this is a rather morbid thing to say! It feels as though I am on the sidelines, and I always think that at some point in the future I am gonna jump in a grab life by the s***** of the neck - you know just let go of all of my worries and anxieties and just live life. However, that point never seems to come - I seem to be perpetually holding back on embracing life, holding back on letting go, always thinking that 'soon' it will happen. I was thinking today that I am in a very similar place to where I was 2 years ago, 4 years ago, 6 years ago - it is like I have become so used to living on the sidelines, that without me realising it, it has just become my life. It as though I have become so used to avoiding dealing with my sexuality in a concrete and definitive way that it has become hard to break that cycle. And while I have made some progress over the past few years, it just feels incredibly slow, as though it is going to take me forever to get there. I don't know what is holding me back so much, I just hope that this realisation gives me the strength to break free of these shackles once and for all! As more and more time goes by, I realise that this life is not a dress rehearsal, this is the real deal and we only get one shot at it! Sean.
Casper22, if I were you, I would take a screenshot of what you just wrote. Print it and keep it somewhere safe. A month from now, six months, a year, and so on, re read it. As you just wrote "I realise that this life is not a dress rehearsal, this is the real deal and we only get one shot at it!" - always remember that! Set some realistic goals, write those down as well, and start achieving them! Live life!
