I just want to vent. I've been out for a while. I'm in a relationship but I'm bored. We haven't had sex for a while and I'm fine with that. I just want to be alone. We live together but have decided to live apart but stay together. I just want a break. Tonight she is at a party with out friends and I am at home supervising children. I am much more of a loner than she is. When I do form friendships, she often takes them over because she is extroverted. So if we break up, all of out friends will probably become her friends. That is what I get I suppose for wanting to be alone. And that makes me wish I was straight. Because the lesbian community is pretty small where we are. And why do I want to break up? Because she just needs way too much attention and I am introverted. I have a very people oriented job, and children, and by the time I am done with those responsibilities, and I am DONE and want some peace and quiet. And she wants, not unreasonably, some attention. Except, when I want to be heard or paid attention to, she gets distracted. I am a very good listener, but she is not. And so I feel very alone even in the relationship. She dropped everything to move close to me because I couldn't relocate. It hasn't been easy for her at all, but she's made it work and I think it has been a good thing for her. She's lost a lot of weight, gone back to school, started her own business. I'm very happy for her, and I have made positive changes as well, but I feel we are moving in different directions. And the fact that I feel jealous of her in pictures at a party...maybe I just need some space and some peace to see the relationship clearly. Thanks for reading.
Hey there antsy. You sound a bit tired. Maybe you two need to revisit some of the things you liked to do together in the beginning, just the two of you. Maybe a day of hiking or nature exploring without the kids so you two can have some quality quiet time. Rather than a party or a social event. I'm not sure if I'm reading this right but I sense a little rejuvenation wouldn't go amiss. It could give you a chance to have a meaningful conversation with her. If she's more outgoing than you, she may just not know what it's like to need some quality recovery time like you do. Perhaps communicating this might improve things. And then working out how you both can get what you need, perhaps separately, (her going out, you getting some alone time or whatever) so you'll be better together. Yes?
From what you're sayin here, it sounds to me a bit like you guys are a normal couple. I think almost everyone has this level of issues in their relationship, especially if they are as different as you say you are. My husband is an extreme introvert and we clash all the time on stuff like what you described. He has hugely demanding job: at the end of the day he just wants to watch TV and cuddle. I want to talk, play games, have friends over, etc. basically anything other than sit around. We repeatedly have to negotiate the boundaries of our relationship in this regard, but to me it's worth the frustration. Would a relationship with someone like me be easier? Maybe! But id be so bored being with someone who didn't challenge me.
Hey Antsy, I think communication has to be the key, have you considered relationship counselling? I think Really had some great ideas, what drew you together to begin with and how do you recreate that? Are they your children or are they joint children between you? How long were you living together and how long have you been living apart?
