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Is it silly? Normal?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by mellie, Oct 3, 2015.

  1. mellie

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    Now that I'm out to the few most important people, I want to advertise that I'm gay. Seriously, it feels a bit silly and immature. But I have this desire to make it visible. I know that it'd be throwing it in my husband's face, so for now I'll just daydream of wearing rainbow bracelets and Equality t-shirts... :roflmao:
     
  2. SiennaFire

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    Hi mellie

    Please understand that you are on a high right now as you've come out to a few key people in your life. It's a great feeling, but it will subside as the reality of your next move hits you.

    Don't get me wrong - I can't wait to attend my first pride event once I'm separated.

    For now please understand that until you and your husband separate (I'm assuming this will happen based on your previous posts) you will be in a delicate place. You'll probably want to be sensitive to your husband until you move out. Otherwise you'll be stirring the pot.

    So yes feel the pride of coming out to yourself, that's such an amazing feeling :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride: Also understand that it's difficult to fully embrace the lifestyle until you've separated.

    HTH
     
    #2 SiennaFire, Oct 3, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2015
  3. CapColors

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    I feel the same way! I almost got a tattoo and then I thought about the reality of my husband seeing it everyday and it reminding him of my changed sexuality. I will wait until the newness of my sexuality has faded and then see if I still want one. At that point, I guess I'll ask him if he minds.

    But I AM going to wear my bi bracelet when I'm not at work. I doubt he'll even notice.

    Maybe you can wear your gear during days he won't see it?
     
    #3 CapColors, Oct 3, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2015
  4. mellie

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    Sienna--Absolutely. I have to remember that he's going through stages of grief that I already went through prior to coming out, when I came out to myself. This is an extremely emotional time. I guess sometimes I wish life had a fast forward button so we could skip the crappy part and get to the good stuff--for the both of us.

    CC--ah, tattoos are my vice, so of course that thought has crossed my mind as well. I guess that'll be in the far future, post divorce future for me! I'm glad I'm not the only one.
     
  5. Distant Echo

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    I made myself an rainbow ankle bracelet that I can wear under my jeans for the times i can't or don't want to wear my wrist bracelet. Maybe that's an idea for you?
     
  6. High Art

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    I totally understand, I feel similar! Wanting to be out out out, but I know I'm not even opseoarated yet and my husband has only had a couple of weeks to process all of this. First step for me is to separate. And even then, I am going to give it a bit of breathing room before I out myself to the world :slight_smile:

    I hear you on the fast forward button though! Unfortunately, I know there is a long process ahead.
    Hang in there <3
     
  7. Moonflower

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    I do that, too. I wear at least one jewelry item under my clothing if need be...and it does help. It's a reminder to me at times when I can't be fully myself yet in certain situations that the hardest part is done, I'm out to myself. It's reminder of who I am and what I'm not going back to. It does help a lot.
     
  8. bi2me

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    My son made me a "Mommy" bracelet with rainbow beads that I wear almost every day. He doesn't understand the significance yet (he just knows I like rainbows), but someday I hope I can share with him.
     
  9. musicheals315

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    I can definitely relate, I'm dying to make it known by wearing pride gear, but at the same time I don't think I've even fully accepted it myself, I still find myself doubting if I am a lesbian or not and am waiting (not so patiently) until I'm done with grad school and can explore and experience these things that seem so appealing before I go waving my rainbow flag. Fortunately I don't have anyone that my coming out will really affect aside from me, but I'm right there with you on wanting to let it be known :slight_smile:
     
  10. Distant Echo

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    It was a very hot day here today and I went out wearing a skirt, totally forgeting I had the ankle bracelet on until I was in a shop. I didn't feel self-conscious about it, so I left it on :icon_bigg