I did something just now that I've been wrestling with for a couple of days. I shared an article that was very bi-specific on Facebook. There's nothing particularly revolutionary about that but I felt I needed to be able to do it, because it's something that I wanted to share and the only reason for hesitating is the thought that "everyone will know". On one hand I think no one would even think twice, people post articles all the time, it doesn't mean I said "I'm bi". On the other hand, some people might be like, hmm, I wonder? I just know that for my own personal feeling of freedom of expression, I needed to do it. Anybody else having this battle in their own heads with Facebook? I'm still not out to my siblings or my dad, but I don't mind if this plants a seed in their heads. it might even provide a conversation starter...
I'm kind of wanting coming out to be more of a non-issue, because I think that projects more confidence. I want to be able to be like, oh you didn't know I'm bi, I guess it never came up. Yep, I'm bi. But still feeling, after posting the article, like I want to run and hide under my covers.
I think this was very brave what you did. Sure, most probably years later you'll say meh....yeah, I'm bisexual and I like chocolate, not a big deal. But now it is and it's brave because beginings are not easy and we need a lot of strength to do stuff like this for the first time. I'm also thinking a lot about sharing or at least liking stuff like this on facebook. As you said, it's a kind of gentle "seed planting" method And for now, I'm not there yet to post obvious stuff about me being gay. Maybe I'll have to get more comfortable with the idea first. After that, honestly, I would want everybody to know if that was possible. But for now I want to relax a bit more into the idea..
Thank you!! I feel so weak kneed and nauseous about posting it, even though it's such a minor thing. Most people wouldn't even connect the dots. I can't wait to be at that point you're talking about "I'm bi and I like chocolate" . I've actually been sort of repeating those kinda of statement in my head to normalise it "I'm bi, I'm a big Joss Whedon head, I'm a mom, I love Mexican food...etc". You can do this too Tea Tree! Whenever you're ready you will! My mom told me something when I was little that's always stick with me (though I don't internalise it enough). People really aren't that wrapped up in your personal world. What feels huge to you will likely just be an 'oh, ok' to most people. Of course it's not always that simple when it comes to these topics, but it still applies in some level.
Yay! I felt strange posting to my tumblr on bi visibility day---Facebook is an even bigger deal because tumblr is like bi-haven #1. So I get that you were nervous! That being said, it's true that few people care about our internal struggles. sad AND relieving at the same time.
Bravo! You've made some huge steps lately! I'm pretty sure everyone on my fb knows I'm gay by all the stuff I "like" -- or, maybe more likely is they haven't even noticed :roflmao: So happy for you! (*hug*)
First, love your username. I was looking at the stuff that comes up on FB in the "On This Day" section. Five years back I shared something, that if anyone was paying attention, could have been viewed as suspect. The very idea of coming out was the furthest thing from my mind at that point. I had just donated money to an LGBT organization to elect our previous governor. Nobody even batted an eyelash. Now, my message where I came out to those on FB was a different story :icon_wink. Perhaps paving the way isn't the worst idea, keep doing what you are doing, showing what you believe in and stand for is never a bad idea under any circumstance.
A bit off topic but today when scrolling through Fb and seeing artsy pics with girls in wedding dresses it just hit me: the awkward moment when you realize you don't want to be the girl in the wedding dress, but you want to be with the girl in the wedding dress... Now if I'd post something like that, there would be no doubt :icon_bigg But still, I won't post that ---------- Post added 5th Oct 2015 at 05:57 PM ---------- A bit more off topic - I would really appreciate if I'd have someone to tell stuff like this in real life too Finally I feel what I'm talking about. When I was biologically seventeen not only mentally as I am now, all these talks about guys were so empty for me.
That was brave posting for bi visibility day!! I was too scared to do it. I should get on tumblr...I didn't know it was bi haven . And it's so true, we spend a lot of time in our own heads, but it mostly doesn't occur to others to notice all of that inner turmoil. ---------- Post added 5th Oct 2015 at 11:42 AM ---------- I do think it's good to plant seeds like this, I think it makes you feel braver and you can kind of ease into saying it when you're ready. ---------- Post added 5th Oct 2015 at 11:44 AM ---------- Wow, how amazing to look back and see how far you've come! I'm happy for you that you came out on Facebook! That's really courageous! Congratulations! :eusa_clap
I noticed that I look with envy at the lives of my lesbian friends on Facebook, partnered up and happy, and just generally being who they are without apology. It does help to have someone IRL to talk to. Do you have any supportive friends you could confide in? I have to say this forum has been a really big place of comfort for me as well.
Ive liked a few bi or gay posts before like and a couple videos aboutbeing bisexual...buuut I'm also very fucking loud mouthed aboutlgbt news ans information and am always posting links about gay marriage or similar so i assume people think "there she goes again posting about gay stuff " lol Now i wonder if more people know than i think? So much to identify with in this thread i get the giggles now when i see a girl and realize the same thing, teatree! Ive always been jealous or envious of my lesbian friends or acquaintances, didnt realize WHY till recently tho
Congratulations. Wanting to post anything to facebook, is going into the lion's den. You're brave to do so. Anything we do to put ourselves out there, whether they"work" or not, is at least a step for us individually in being ourselves.
It's funny, I have *always* posted tons of lgbt stuff, same-sex marriage, it gets better, look at the stupid homophobes saying stupid stuff.... But I *never* posted anything bi-specific. In fact pretty much all my friends/family post the lgbt stuff, but it's alwats very tied to the l and the g, I've not seen anything about being bi in my feeds. By doing so, I was nervous about a couple of things. Something bi-specific has more obvious potential connection to *me* and my identity if anyone cared to connect the dots. Also, it's kind of going against the grain. Everyone on my FB cares about homosexual issues (thank god I have good people in my life in that sense), but no one talks about being bi....posting about that stuff, I thought, would stand out. And also might even hit certain radar that I've been nervous about facing, like - what if some one thought it was bs, like bi issues aren't as important as gay/lesbian issues. Or if they were like this is such crap, bi is a stop on the way to gay town, you're belittling the real identity of being gay/lesbian. Or ok she's posting about something ridiculous that doesn't exist. Basically all the things that have contributed to my own internalised biphobia. Posting about it made me face some of that shame, and now I'm thinking f* this, if someone has a problem with it, it's not my problem anymore. ---------- Post added 5th Oct 2015 at 10:24 PM ---------- Thank you!! I'm starting to feel a little more brave . And I might post one thing per day as we approach national coming out day on oct 11 .
I think this is awesome! I have been getting braver posting things that are just off the beaten path. It's easier to do that as I find and like pages that are queer-ish. Step by little step. And I am considering making a friend subgroup that I could be more open with, people who have posted friendly things about the LGBTetc. world. I am also considering, if not coming out on Coming Out day (Oct 11) then at least posting a banner celebrating it. Maybe with a provocative comment. I dunno yet... Anyway I think it is super brave and I understand how hard it is to take those first little steps. (&&&)
That's really brave Not everyone in my life knows yet and I've taken the steps to start 'liking' some pages that might make people wonder, but haven't taken the step of posting anything yet!
U Go you! (!) you are doing great!!! You're right about it being step by step, it helps me to think if things that way. One of your posts inspired me to be more visible on Facebook. I don't know if I'm going to directly come out on FB, but I'm going to be out, talk without censoring myself, let the chips fall where they may, basically. I admire you for planning/considering coning out on FB. That's huge! :icon_bigg
Why thank you! I am so blown away by what a few weeks of being on this site has done for me. I know I'm a loner, but being able to talk with others who can relate on this topic has really affected me. This place is so awesome!!! And all because of really kind and supportive people, like you!
Those are big steps!! It really is daunting isn't it? But then once you start being a little more vocal, it starts to come more and more naturally. ---------- Post added 6th Oct 2015 at 04:25 AM ---------- Thank you :icon_redf. Same to you! I feel the same way about this site!! To be honest, I thought I was the only person going through some of my particular emotions. It's been so encouraging to talk with people on here who are so supportive and understanding.
