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Self Esteem

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by OnTheHighway, Oct 9, 2015.

  1. OnTheHighway

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    When I was younger, I had massive self esteem issues. Whether it was a result of a complex relationship with my parents, the impact of childhood confrontations gone wrong, or the internal struggles I had with my own sexuality.

    Early on, I decided to pacify my low self esteem by overachieving in my professional life; and that worked for quite a bit of time and to such a degree that I though I had overcome my low self esteem issues.

    Like a catch 22, my inability to come out earlier in life seems to have been influenced by my low self esteem and lack of confidence.

    Today, however, I am out, proud and seem like my confidence I was able to build professionally has now been complemented by heightened personal confidence as well.

    Has my previously held low self esteem been cured? Well, I can look in the mirror today and see someone I like to look at in the reflection where previously I saw ugliness. I can put criticism into perspective where previously I would debate and challenge all and any criticism thrown at me. And, I seem to feel content and inspired where previously I did not know what true happiness was.

    But a nagging thought still seems to float around my head - has my self esteemed evolved where I no longer suffer from low self esteem? Hmm, I guess only time will tell.
     
  2. Weston

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    I went the opposite direction from you — I was an underachiever most of my life. I earned degrees but never really used them; I probably could have been or done almost anything I wanted, but I always thought, "What the hell is the point?" So I drifted along until I eventually married a woman of many talents and more or less became her consort, looking after children and managing our family life. At bottom, I always felt unloveable and was never able to love myself, let alone anyone else.

    Then I met a man who turned my world upside down. I fell deeply, deeply in love with him, and he with me. Gradually, I came to realize that I was not unloveable, and my self-esteem soared. Of course, the situation became untenable, and I was forced to (eventually) come out to my wife. We went through some very hard times, but now, a year and a half later, we're best friends, we still live together (for the moment), and my initial lover has moved on.

    I still have my low moments, my periods of self-doubt, but on the whole, I'm a much more confident individual. Friends frequently comment on how I've changed. Best of all, I think I have finally learned to have compassion for others, while at the same time having compassion for myself.
     
    #2 Weston, Oct 10, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2015
  3. angeluscrzy

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    All my life I've struggled with self esteem issues. Hated my picture being taken, uncomfortable in my own skin and I think just lost hope in so much of life. And for the longest time just feeling like I exist but I'm hardly living. Since splitting from the ex, I just feel freer. Nobody knows anything really about my asexuality or anything, but I know that I am able to be honest with myself more now and not be ashamed of the feelings I have. Got my first pride braclet yesterday and wore all day at work yesterday. Got it on today as well. Part of me is nervous about someone making a snarky remark or something but in my head I keep churning with comebacks to assert myself to them. If they were to tell me how I'm going to hell, that's fine I will just tell them "Well, I hate cold weather anyway". It just feels good and empowering to realize you don't have anything to apologize for or be ashamed of. And I've seen how much my desire to take care of myself now is just so much greater.
     
  4. Chicagoblue

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    I never had self-esteem issues mainly because I'm a fighter. Athlete. Chip on the shoulder. Competitor. I was picked on because I was skinny as a youth...a late bloomer. But, I fought back and that helped translate into a bit of athletic success. Being academically inclined didn't hurt either. Then I bloomed and the girls discovered me. Odd though, I always kept them at arms length. Now I know why.
     
  5. SiennaFire

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    Same here. I wasn't ready to come out until I raised by self-esteem and stopped putting the needs of others ahead of my own. Now coming out is increasing my self-esteem and confidence.
     
  6. SiennaFire

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    Wow - I can't believe you found the self-esteem and courage to come out as straight on the other thread. Congratulations :slight_smile:
     
    #6 SiennaFire, Oct 10, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2015
  7. OnTheHighway

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    :roflmao: