So for weeks no, I've been asking myself the same question, even though I know it's ridiculous: "How do I be gay?" I mean, I already am gay. To be gay, I really only have to be myself. But I don't feel like I fit the stereotype enough. I don't act effeminate enough. I don't hang out with enough other gay guys enough. I don't have sex as often as I think a single gay guy should. I don't hit up the gym for hours a day. I don't feel like I'm doing all the "right" things that a gay man at my age should be doing. How do I stop worrying about this??
Well I guess my question here would be, why do you want to fit a stereotype? Just be yourself. There isn't any one way to "be gay". Gay people are just as individual and come in just as many shapes, colors, and flavors as any other group of people. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to be a certain way. You can always seek out lgbt related clubs or activities to meet and hang out with other gay folks, and then maybe you will feel more at ease and part of a community...perhaps that will help.
Do you want to live life as a cliche or live life the way you want to live it? Seems like your consuming yourself with stereotypical messages that are so too often reflected in the media and elsewhere. Being gay should be just a part of whom you are, not all encompassing; and it definitely should not define whom your are. Your should act naturally, how ever that is; If your friends are mostly straight, or all straight, and that's what you are comfortable with, then so be it; The amount of sex someone has is not dictated by their sexuality, it's based on each persons own sex drive - gay or straight; I bet the vast majority do not hit the gym daily, just a lot of those on apps living with a lot of vanity; and, You should be doing those things you enjoy doing, regardless of age and regardless of sexuality. Be comfortable with yourself, not by comparing yourself to others, but by knowing whom you are and living the way you want to live, not the way others suggest.
What these guys said. Just be yourself. I hear you tho: as a bi person I just feel kind of insufficiently queer a lot of the time, like an impostor. I'm working on that feeling, but it's there.
We are inundated with stereotypes. The good part is you don't have to conform to any of them. That would be being someone you're not-and isn't that completely opposite of finally trying to be true to who you really are? Just be yourself. It's good enough, and it's true to yourself.
I think the question should be what does it mean to You to be Gay. You live your life as you always have, now you have the freedom to enjoy what you really are a person that lives, loves, and cares about people. However your also a person that loves people of the same sex. That's all that's different. Your still you.
I think the guys I'm always most impressed by (if that makes sense) are the ones who are just themselves and not trying to fit a stereotype. I do think making gay friends is a worthwhile idea, because it's just nice having friends who you can relate to. But I wouldn't worry about acting a way that isn't natural. That's what a lot of us are trying to get away from in our "straight" lives to begin with.
