So I was the skank in my group of friends in HS.Lostmy virginity way before the rest, they askedmehow it was and i said it wasnt anything to rush into and do. Talked to othergirls who had losttheir virginity and they talked about how awesome it was. It was always confusing to me cause icouldnt understand the appeal, thought itmaybe because i wasnt sexually attracted to the guy i had sex with. A year later, i met my now husband, he lost his virginity to me, we talked afterwards and I said it wasnt that great huh? Specifcally "sex is overrated" was a statement i made to him immediatly following. We discussed that and how he didnt feel that way at all. So assumed then that it was just not good for girls like it is for guys. Or maybe it sucked for me cause dicks arent fun to have sex with LOL. hubs and I discussed it recently he thinks probably why i have never had a sexual interest and why I have no sex driveanymore (seriously, none. I dont even masturbate) Is cause i am actually gay. Think we're on to something, guys? Also, remember how I said I would never tell my neighbors/friends that im gay because of what they are like? Well started thinking today about conversations i could have with them about coming out and i did not feel terrified, it seemed like an easy conversation thats totally doable. Dont even give a shit if they hate me or not afterward, well kind of cause i really like one ofthem but i cant imagine her actually hating me just being awkward since she constantly straight girl flirts with me. It feels good to start noticing these changes in my thinking. (!)
Awesome! And it feels so natural right? Makes so much more sense then trying to force the square peg into the round hole...
It feels shockingly...normal? My husband is even seeming more open about me being "out". I worry about everything capcolors! Been living so opposite of what i am for so long.
