Liking younger men?

I've noticed the same thing - I also want a relationship, and I'm more physically attracted to younger guys. I think this has to do with the fact that I repressed my sexuality in my twenties, and that's where I want to resume.

Probably a better topic for OnTheHighway who has successfully lured a younger BF

 

I almost had an 18 year old boyfriend. Probably too young for a guy who is 32. But I loved hooking up with him for a few months and feeling like we were dating. It was a blast.

Perhaps the next guy I'm with should be older...like 22 or something. :lol:

 

I'm a 21 year old guy currently navigating a relationship with an older guy (31). It's been interesting on several levels, and over all I"m enjoying it. I was interested in meeting someone more mature and experienced. My only concerns that need/needed to be addressed are as follows:

discussing power dynamics (age, money, maturity, etc)., being open with sexual histories, etc.

Also talking about the whole 'daddy' culture is useful. Really depends on the guy, but we're out there Best of luck!

 

I'm kinda the same though for me I like older men who I want to hook up with. Being in a relationship with a guy way older than me was never an issue for me however the experiences I had with dating older men turned out to be as immature and if not more immature than guys younger than them.

As for your question I say go ahead and as long as you guys are of the legal age, I don't see any problem with it. There are actually young guys out there who pursue older guys but the thing is, if this is the only thing that they are looking for a guy then there is going to be an issue.

 

Siennafire, your just envious

Crazydog, as you said, straight guys do the same. I work with a lot of guys whom get divorced around my age and date and some marry girls 15 - 20 years younger. There is some unwritten rule that I have been told where you take your age, divide it in half and add seven and that's the minimum age to consider. When I see others, it seems to match this. Coincidentally, my fiancé does match this.

Now, the real issue - Maturity is the key factor. My partner is an "old soul". When we started dating, it could be easy to suggested I was emotionally immature; and in many ways probably still am. That said, my partner is extremely grounded, mature and thoughtful for his age. We compliment each other and support each other in so many ways; and like no relationship I have ever been in. As our relationship has grown, we have grown together. I have been in a relationship with another guy significantly older and much closer to my age, and that one did not work because of the emotional imbalance between us, but with my current partner, we seem to be completely connected.

If you find someone that is at a similar maturity level, intellectually stimulating, physically compatible, I do believe such relationships can work. In the meantime, I see nothing wrong with appreciating beautiful bodies, even if just looking, and young guys do have those!

 

I've been thinking more about this, especially after my therapy session last night. This makes a lot of sense to me. I talk a lot about regretting not doing a lot of things and having a lot of experiences when I was a teenager (both of my parents would go out - my mom to work or play with her friends all day, and my dad at night to drink, and I'd be forced to stay home watching my brother who is 9 years younger, from the time I was 14/15 until the summer I was leaving for college at 17) and I do think part of that was exploring my attraction to guys. I'm not sure that it would have ever happened, but I never had the chance to find out. The only time in my life I dated guys was when I was 20/21, so I do seem to be going back towards that.

 

I prefer older guys ten years plus older

 

Richie,

Mind sharing what you find attractive regarding older guys? Would love to get the inverse perspective.

 

Don't hesitate to ask out a guy you like. Even if he is younger that's alright. If he says no, don't push it, but if you are more comfortable with younger men, then be with younger men.

 

I also like the thought of younger guys too (legal of course). Am 40 and had a casual meet up with an 18yr old last week.

Cant say I like the "daddy" analogy though. Would want my partner to be my equal if that makes sense ?

 

It drove me crazy (in the bad way) when my 18 year old FWB would call me daddy. I'm 14 years older, I would have had to been really young to be your dad!

Of course then he did it in the bedroom a few times...now I miss it. :eusa_doh:

 

I'm old enough now that most of the people I have sex with are younger than me, the youngest (that I know of) being 21. Which is fine, as long as we're just talking sex. But I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone more than say, 10 years younger than me. We just wouldn't have enough in common. That, said, it seems to work for lots of other gay couples, and I certainly wouldn't condemn it. This past summer I had a brief encounter with someone I considered the sexiest, most interesting man I'd met all year — and he was 73!

 

A teenage boy walking in front of me just blatantly checked out the same woman I did. Like we both rubbernecked.

Omg I feel dirty hah.

Anyway just to say that even chicks feel like going for the younger set sometimes heh.

 

Would it be a good idea for someone of my age (nearly forty) to date someone 15-20 years younger? No, it wouldn't. A guy in his late teens or early 20's will be at a completely different stage of life and maturity, and in all probability, one or both people would end up getting badly hurt. I'm not going so far as to say it would never work, but we know from experience on EC that such relationships rarely do work out and the younger person in particular ends up with a lot of emotional damage.

Once people have reached their mid to late 20's they are generally pretty sorted and mature enough to handle a certain difference in age, but any younger and you are facing some big challenges to even begin to make it work.

I know some people will say that age doesn't matter, but actually that's not true. In some cases it really does matter a lot. It's definitely not a good idea to enter into an age gap relationship with a very young person.

 

I say "whatever floats your boat." This theme is quite common. Sometimes I don't like it. It really got to me in one case. I had a friend in his mid to late 30s who liked MUCH younger guys. He once was telling me about his weekend and said he went to a party over at some neighbors' house. He mentioned that "there was a 14 year old who was a real looker." He said it in a lustful way. What I've seen is some kids who, if they are age progressed and don't let themselves go, will probably go on to become good looking adults. I've also seen late bloomers and people take rapid downturns. I will admit that prognosticating is interesting, but being interested in much younger people is not.

I probably mentioned somewhere that I had an encounter with a 26 year old who was an off and on college student when I was 35. I think that's the biggest age spread to date. I wasn't crazy about it but the aggression came from the college student, and he knew what he was doing, even though he looked studious. Even with the 9 year gap, I didn't feel like I had much in common with him, especially since I was working and he was in school.

You can do what you want. I had the opposite situation. When I was a college student and a grad student, handsome 40 something suits caught my eye. It wasn't a daddy thing. My dad was very present. It was more of a suit thing. Also, they looked nothing like my dad. They were just hot in that shaving gel commercial sort of way and I thought they'd be a feather in the cap, though it was wishful thinking. If that had ever come to fruition and they weren't uncomfortable with it or habitually dipped way down in age for physical encounters, I would have been perplexed by and uncomfortable with that.

 

I second this, wholeheartedly.

We all like the look of a younger guy, there is no denying that, and there are young guys who really are into older people; but to start a whole and serious relationship with someone in his or her late teens or early 20's when one is 10, 15, 20 or more years older is asking for trouble on several different levels.

Emotional maturity is a big one, but the differences in power are a real problem in the dynamics of a relationship, there are already just too many things to figure out with someone in the same age-range, let alone with two people who have vastly different life experiences.

It is generally better for two people who are committed to each other to discover the unfolding of their lives together, it forms stronger and longer-term bonds between people to go through the struggle of growing up, together.

 

when i came out to myself i found myself seriously attracted to young guys, late teens (legal) and early 20s but being in my late 40s it seemed, unseemly. and i really wasnt ready for any kind of relationship, casual or otherwise, as time went on this faded, although they are nice to look at . i figure that this was because i burried my attraction at the mid teenage years and only started acknowledged my attractions late in life so that's where i started up again. that part of me didn't get the chance to mature like the rest of me did so now it's catching up to my "age". i find myself wanting a partner, not some sort of imbalanced relationship based on age, etc. Good luck to you however.

 

As a 22 year old, I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with someone who is older than me.

The only issue is finding commonalities and making sure that the younger person is emotionally stable. I don't recommend entering a relationship with a young person who hasn't discovered themselves yet, or hasn't "done" anything yet. I've had friends who lost their virginity to older people and ended up regretting it because they were new and "didn't know better."

It's really emotionally damaging to both parties. For you in particular, you might end up having a LOT of breakups, especially since young people may want to explore other relationships. It's hard to find someone in their early twenties who wants something stable, but if you do find someone, make sure the relationship will be good for both people.

Just my two cents. Good luck.

 

Thats a very thoughtful perspective.