Not sure if this is the forum for this i just post everything in here. I have a straight friend, shes flirty and suggestive, also shares more i guess intimate details abot herself to me. Se doesnt know im gay, bisexual or even that i find women attractive. I feel like im doing something wrog by keeping msame sex attractive from her cause maybe she wouldnt share such things with me if she knew? Like im violating her trust? I wouldnt say we are necessarily close, we've known each other about 2 yrs, or kids are friends and classmates and she lives near me. She is spiritual, and while i dont think shes necessarily homophobic (pretty sure her husband is) it seems like something she overall disagrees with, so it is not someting i feel like i can freely discuss with her without her changing the way she looks at me, or even sure shed still talk to me after but i feel like im doing something very wrog by allowing her to divluge such things without her knowing? Does that make sense? What do y'all do with stuff like this?
OH man, I totaly feel the same way about my friend who I love. We go to the gym together a lot and it's like she will stand there naked and talk to me, even if I'm fully dressed and/or tryin to escape. I had to just cut her off last time and be like I have to GO! SorryBYE!!! So I haven't found a good way to deal with it. I think if you're not actively trying to pry sexy info out of her or being her friend under false pretenses then it's fine. It sounds like you're in the clear. I mean things may be a little extra awkward when you come out but frankly I think your needs trump hers as long as you are trying to respect her, which it sounds like you are.
I definitely dont encourage it or return any of her flirtaciousness i already decided that would be wrong. I tey to be talkative with her about stuff but not aboutthose things and not atall suggestive. Despite my desire to. Just makes me feel bad especially since i find her ncredibly attractive. We were suppose to start woeking out goether but i couldnt follow thru with it.
edbay - If you wanted to, you could make a joke that you think Ryan Gosling and Scarlett Johansson are hot, something along those lines, see how she responds. I think you're doing the right thing by not flirting. Before my gf was my gf, I knew she was bi but she never ever flirted with me. Before I knew it I was flirting with her... CapColors, goddamn, where is your gym? kidding. But damn, how do you maintain composure if she's your crush and enjoys talking to you naked? I would be swooning, call me an ambulance...
I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Your sexuality is your business, just as hers is hers. There really is no need to discuss it unless it impacts your relationship in some way and needs to be aired. I don't talk about my orientation to everyone I meet...it just doesn't come up. If you feel uncomfortable with her flirtiness with you, you can tell her so, but if you are not attracted to her or flirting with her, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
I am highly attracted to her. But she doesnt know that nor do i flirt back or comment suggestingly back to her. Glad its not seen as dishonest. A lot of the times i feel like if i dont divulge everything then i am being shady, idk. I really did not want to come out to her quite yet if ever. Her behavior only makes me uncomfortable in that i kind of like it? Makes it feel wrong
Oh, I see what you mean. Well, I still think you're fine. You aren't doing anything out of line. I think the only problem may be if your attraction to her becomes so strong that it starts to become painful to you, you know what I mean? But just because you find someone attractive, it doesn't mean you have to tell them, especially if they won't be receptive to it...you can just innocently enjoy the view.
Oh, ebda *hug*, You don't owe *anybody* information about your sexuality. This person is offering stuff. Sure, maybe if she knew you were bisexual, she wouldn't. Sure, maybe if she knew you were a democrat, she wouldn't. Sure, maybe if she knew your favorite color and the name of your first boyfriend, she wouldn't. Screw that. She is offering this information. You owe her nothing in return, except to hold her information and treat it respectfully. Bottom line: you are not being shady; *she* is putting *you* in a position. Accept it or ask her to stop...but don't feel obligated to do anything. My big question (for both you and the Cap'n) is...if this was a *guy* you found really hot (whether or not he enjoyed talking to you naked...let's suppress this aspect of it for now), would you find it *important* to tell him that you were attracted to him? Would you feel like you were being dishonest by talking to him, hearing what he has to say, and not letting him know you found him really attractive? If the answer is "no", then why should you feel this way about a woman? Oh, there's also a chance that she's queer as well. She may or may not know it. But if she's flirty with you? Straight girls don't tend to do that.
