I've known something was wrong because in the the last few years I've had a number of very attractive (personality and physically) women flirt and even come on to me quite overtly and I've declined them. I put it down to simply being depressed and not being "in the mood" for anything and not having any energy to respond to them. However, I was in a bookstore a couple of months ago and struck up a conversation with a transgender person and it was like a light switch was turned on. It's been intense and feels great when I let myself go with it but it is so difficult to do that. All the conditioning about how I'm supposed to be and who I'm supposed to be attracted to claws away at me. Not that labels are always beneficial, I still would like to know just who and what I am. I call myself bisexual because I don't know how else to describe it. It feels like being on a roller coaster that is out of control. Yes, I know I'm not alone in this and zillions of people have experienced something similar. Still, it's dizzying.
Welcome! You don't say how old you are, but I ignored my high school same sex exploration as "bi curious" and only realized that I was still very attracted to women (generally more than men) at 36.
I'm 53. I've not heard of it flipping but obviously it can. Part of me is going "wow, this is really fascinating" and part of me is reaching for the life preserver! Thanks for the welcome.
I seem to be relatively unique around these parts. Most people say they "always" knew to some degree or another. Maybe my self-knowledge is just that much worse than everyone else's, ha. Anyway, welcome. There are a lot of people who come to realize soemthing is different late in life.
I experienced almost this exact thing about 4-5 years ago. In hindsight there were so many signs about my sexuality through the years starting from around age 12, but it became intense to where I couldn't ignore it during my last relationship with a girl in my early 20s. Like you say, it's almost like a light bulb turning on. Have you had moments in hindsights were obvious tells about your sexuality, or do you think it came completely out of nowhere?
Welcome to EC and the Journey you seem to be embarking on. It is baffling how much we perviously lived our lives based on what was expected or accepted. The journey to self awareness and fulfillment is an exciting one! I hope you find good insight and encouragement on EC!
Welcome!!! I would say that we're all wearing our life preservers here. :icon_bigg Since we're all floating in these stormy waters together, I think sometimes we probably cut up and joke and sound perfectly at peace. And other times you can hear us wailing, "I'm drowning!" if you pay attention. It sounds like you're feeling perfectly normal to me. (&&&)
You don't mention your age but state "at my age". I'm much older than most and have decided I needed more knowledge and understanding of my bi-curiosity. I've done some research and have found that there are probably a lot of older people that are just realizing there's another dimension to their sexuality then they were aware of. Of course we're all different but I've found that joining here and being able to express myself to others that would be understanding can help greatly. Don't feel alone as I'm on the basic same journey and hopefully other older people will find answers instead of fleeing from them!
