My bf doesn't even want to talk (though I'm scared too..)

So, just a short recap/ description of my story: after a short time of conscious questioning (and a lifelong of more or less conscious one) about my sexuality I finally came out to myself a few months ago and to my boyfriend of 8+ years a couple of months ago...In the meantime I realized that I cannot be myself in this relationship not only because of my sexuality but also because I feel like I cannot grow in the context of the relationship anymore. I'm stuck but so addicted to the comfort of the "known", it really is like an addiction I need to break.
Since coming out we haven't really talked about this with my bf (at all), and he has become more and more depressed. We live together and we started to have fun moments again, he is basically my best friend, but that's it.

I've been really scared to talk to him, because I'm still a bit confused about what I want, but I know it's not healthy anymore to be in this relationship, to neither of us.

He is going tomorrow to go visit his parents in the country/city we are both from. We usually go together but now we won't.
So before him leaving I finally gathered my courage and tried to initiate a conversation about well...us, our relationship, etc. Starting with the question, how does he feel lately, and telling him that we haven't talked in a while about this and maybe it would help to talk.

But he just plain shut me down, telling me that "yes, we haven't, and I want to keep it this way"....

So yeah, in a way I was shocked, and not happy at all, but on the other hand I was relieved that I don't have to talk about this now...So here we are, two procrastinating crazy people in a relationship that is basically not a relationship anymore. We got along so well as friends, if I would have a magic wand, I would break us up and keep us as very good friends and we could talk about girls and stuff...But yeah, no magic wand yet...

 

I'm not sure how long will he be away for, I think he has to go back to work in two weeks. But he told me he will let me know before he will come back...In a way I feel this need to tell him that if he meets someone and he wants to do anything with them, I'm ok with that...But I think he would feel even more hurt if I told him that, as he is pretty sure in denial about the whole situation.
Though I am also part of this, I could have told him any moment that we should break up or even to start talking about stuff again. I'm also scared to have these conversations again, but I'm starting to get to the point where I'll do it because we are just lying to ourselves if we continue it like this.

I'm not sure about the letter, about a year ago when we had an argument I wrote him a letter and when I asked him about it he told me that yeah, he read it but he didn't get it... He is really smart but I can't force him to consider things he doesn't want to.

I will give this time, to see how much more I can go like this.

---------- Post added 27th Oct 2015 at 12:13 AM ----------

I know what you mean about pretending in front of the family. It's my mom's birthday today and lately when I talk to her I feel such a liar every time. I'm pretending everything is fine, but feel so horrible, I've even been avoiding to talk to her lately...

About my bf's parents, wow...I'm scared of them...They are very nice people and I feel like I'm disappointing them or something. Every time when we were there his mother used to tell us that "the most important thing is for you two to love each other, nothing else really matters". I am honestly afraid to even consider going there in the future.