What the heck is flirting, exactly?

From what I'm told, it's what I naturally do with any halfway attractive man I come across....

My point is, you might not want to overthink it.

 

Yeah don't overthink it!

I'm told I flirt with everyone (which people told me BEFORE I realized I was bi, really all the signs were there lol), but I never feel like I'm flirting.

I feel like there is all kinds of flirting---if you make a comment on something about their appearance or about their good qualities particularly, that's generally flirting. Sexual innuendo as well.

Just making conversation with INTENT is flirting with deniability. Hee.

 

Lol! Flirting with deniability. I like that.

 

I sure don't know exactly what flirting is. I used to think I was "flirting impaired". I could see my friends doing it but I just didn't seem to have it in me. I wondered if there was some formal way for me learn. Then maybe 6 months ago, not terribly long after coming out to myself I found myself flirting for the first time in my life...with a woman. It just kind of happened. And honestly I was kind of thrilled to learn that I wasn't broken--it actually was buried down in there somewhere. Six months or so later it hasn't happened again. I feel like it's one of those things I can't really *make* happen. It just flows out when it can. That seems to be the case for me anyway. I also happen to be a person who easily chats with strangers, but I feel pretty sure that's not flirting. Im not sure why I'm sure, but that one time I felt myself flirting, inside I was like HEY I'M FLIRTING! Which never happens when I'm chatting up strangers. Good luck getting it all figured out!

 

Since I'm so oblivious to the behavior of others, I'll never even notice unless they make it incredibly obvious and also state they aren't joking. :lol:

I doubt anybody can explain it in a way I'm able to wrap my tiny little brain around either.
I honestly have better luck talking to my pet turtle than trying to be social.

 

Some countries/regions are known to have people who are flirtatious, North America isn't one of them; as a matter of fact, we are extremely bad at it, to the point that we often don't recognize when someone is flirting with us!

Flirting is a kind of language with rules and a kind of grammar. It goes beyond words, but words are important. Body language is just as important, but look at context, frequency of contact, "accidental" encounters...all of these are part of the language of seduction. It requires a certain amount of learning and a certain amount of creativity.

Here is a beautiful example of a successful seduction: This guy spotted a girl he really, really liked, he decided there and then that he will marry her one day. He set up an elaborate scheme that was to last for over 6 months. He arranged to "accidentally" run into her on several occasions, he would always know exactly where to go for coffee, or he would always have something interesting to say or do "just out of the blue". There would be flowers (a language all to itself!), there would deep conversations, and finally, there would be love.

After their marriage, he confessed that it was all contrived...she was delighted and charmed!

You can all learn these things folks, it isn't that difficult, but it does require a little effort and persistence.

 

Totally this.

I too have been told that I flirt with (virtually) everybody, and I frequently don't see it...although I've gotten onto myself a bit more in the past few years. And yeah, everything from eye contact and smiles up through sexual innuendo or suggestive remarks (particularly, subtle double entendre, which I often find myself making without thinking about it).

Deniability is the greater part of flirting!

 

I just like people! Hee.

 

LOL, I really don't. But there are people I do like...and I tend to gravitate toward them. Flirting, consciously or unconsciously, tends to facilitate that.

 

Sorry, I have nothing to add to this conversation since I am way inexperienced, but

loool!! I have stumbled upon a few of your comments and I would think that this is very true. Your remarks always crack me up! (still remember that petri dish post!)

 

I had a blast re-reading this! The whole topic was HILARIOUS!!

So, I m going to shut up now and let you continue back ontopic.

Regards

 

OMG. How did I miss that thread when it first came out?? I went to check it out, and couldn't stop until I'd read all 7 pages! (At least I was able to get the whole story at once without having to wait for each new installment!)

 

I'm so terrible at flirting. The best i can do is nervous eye contact.

If you figure it out Really, let me know !

Yesterday I passed up an opportunity to flirt with this very cute woman, she kind of turned on the charm and flashed me a flirty smile and I panicked. I was kicking myself after, like omg she was so cute!

 

True that. I feel like though I maybevrn be over-reading,so every time I think oh she's flirting with me, it's just wishful thinking, lol.