Where am I in life? Hermit forever? More than just gay?

So little background and then I could use some advice.
I am a 36 year old cis-woman who has been out as a lesbian since I was 16. I have had 3 girlfriends over the years.
1. Met at age 20. We were together for 8 years. She had borderline personality disorder and was hard to live with. I always had to walk on eggshells with her. She cheated and left me for another woman. I was hurt...but handled it okay. It was a relief in some ways.
2. Met about 6 months after the prior relationship ended. We were together for 4 years. She left me for a much younger/skinner girl (like...literally 18). I was devastated. We are currently good friends.
3. Dated only 3 months within this last year. She turned out to have bipolar disorder and it was far more extreme than she admitted to at first and uncontrolled. I ended the relationship, felt it was the right thing to do and am happy I did.

So I have been single from #2 for 3 years...barely been on a handful of first dates. None of which panned out. I am a homebody and I don't go clubbing or drinking. I prefer a good book or a night at the theater catching a play. Online dating has been a joke. Everyone is either Poly, looking for a drinking buddy, or not looking for me anyway.

My other issue is I am starting to question if I am exclusively a lesbian. I have never been with a male. But I have very much enjoyed um...simulated male sex and thought maybe the real thing would be good too...and I am not un-attracted to men and I think some are down right cute. And shoot...I am very attracted to FtM...so maybe Just unfamiliar with them really. And a bit scared to try and date one. When I signed up an extra account as a straight woman on dating sites...I was BOMBED with creepy and maybe not creepy messages and it freaked me out. It seems so scary and risky to date men...which is weird really. And I am Out EVERYWHERE...it would be so weird to have to tell everyone I am dating a guy, but I still sorta feel like I want to try.
Are sexualities more fluid that I would have ever thought when I was 16? Yes....seems to be for me.

Basically I have no idea how to date...who to date... or even how to find a circle of friends so I can learn to trust people and start dating. Hints for those of you who have been where I am?