While I was driving through the Bay Area the other day, heading to a conference, I stopped off at a gay bar. I had decided to take this step a couple weeks ago. I'm still pretty deep in the closet and this was a small way in which I felt like I could be in a group who would assume I wasn't straight and have no problem with it. It was early so there weren't many people in there which suited me just fine. I was nervous as hell but just acted like I belonged and ordered a glass of Sierra Nevada and sat down next to a couple other patrons, a couple guys probably in their early thirties. I drank quietly for a few minutes staring at the TV which had an NBA game going. I was content to finish my drink in silence and get to my sister's for dinner when the guy I was sitting next to struck up a conversation. Hitting on me? Not really but maybe testing the waters. We had a great conversation, I finished my drink and headed out. I really enjoyed myself.
I'm jealous too. I went to a bar in San Francisco once and saw two women kiss. I also saw a man with his arm around another man. It wasn't a gay bar but people were very open and friendly there. I felt so comfortable, at home almost.
I have too spent some time in gay bars and they can be great. Last year, I was in a nice place were there were pictures of sexy, naked men on TV. It was nice to just stare and realize everyone else felt the same way I did. There were virtually no women there (nothing against women of course...just feels nice to be around 50 - 100 gay men).
sweet I've always enjoyed myself at gay bars although the first time going there on a business trip I was (unnecessarily) terrified
I've never been in a gay bar. I'd have to go with friends, there's no way I'd be comfortable enough to go alone. I'm impressed that you could do that!
Having a plan made it easier. I went with the intention of relaxing with a beer and that's what I did. I also went in the early evening on a weekday so I knew it wouldn't be a throng of horny college kids (no offense to the horny college kids). I also had the backup plan that if I got a bad vibe from the place or someone was being weird or inappropriate that I would simply leave. Come to think of it, is this what women have to do when they go out? I've never been in a position with the possibility that I could be pursued by a strange man.
Some of the South of Market bars can be raunchy. And some of the Castro bars can get that way late on Friday and Saturday nights. Otherwise, gays bars aren't much different than straight bars (except who is kissing who and what might be playing on the TVs.) Outside of Friday and Saturday nights, most of the patrons are locals who know they can pick someone up anytime using an app. The bars are therefore more social places than anything else. Also, 95% of the time no one will try to pick you up at a bar unless you make good eye contact with them. The other 5% will grab your ass or feel you up, but that's usually more playful than serious. Since there are quite a few gay bars in the Bay Area, compared to other places, most have a distinct customer base - young. older. bears, twinks, leather, smokers, sports, neighborhood, dance, latino, etc. You can see quite a variety within a two block radius of Castro and Market. It can be fun and educational to bar hop there, although some places have a cover and don't warrant one.
Some of the South of Market bars can be raunchy. And some of the Castro bars can get that way late on Friday and Saturday nights. Otherwise, gays bars aren't much different than straight bars (except who is kissing who and what might be playing on the TVs.) Outside of Friday and Saturday nights, most of the patrons are locals who know they can pick someone up anytime using an app. The bars are therefore more social places than anything else. Also, 95% of the time no one will try to pick you up at a bar unless you make good eye contact with them. The other 5% will grab your ass or feel you up, but that's usually more playful than serious. Since there are quite a few gay bars in the Bay Area, compared to other places, most have a distinct customer base - young. older. bears, twinks, leather, smokers, sports, neighborhood, dance, latino, etc. You can see quite a variety within a two block radius of Castro and Market. It can be fun and educational to bar hop there, although some places have a cover and don't warrant one. ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2015 at 01:21 PM ---------- Actually, now that I'm thinking about it...if you're ever in the Bay Area on a Wednesday night, the best use of your time might be the Married/Once Married Men's group that meets at the Pacific Center in Berkeley. It's an awesome group, as proven by its longevity...more than 40 years and going strong. ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2015 at 01:26 PM ---------- Actually, now that I'm thinking about it...if you're ever in the Bay Area on a Wednesday night, the best use of your time might be the Married/Once Married Men's group that meets at the Pacific Center in Berkeley. It's an awesome group, as proven by its longevity...more than 40 years and going strong.
