Hi guys! It's been awhile since I last posted! Hope you are all well. Basically I'm out to most people at this stage and I'm about to start the process of dating etc.. As I mentioned in my last post I'm 28 and spent an inordinate amount of time closeted for various reasons (including religious) and it's only now that I'm finally at a place where I feel safe/comfortable being who I am. But I have some new worries. I sacrificed any sort of love life all these years whilst closeted and thus I'm totally inexperienced. I am so scared that this will be a deal breaker for any potential partner. It sucks because I think I'd make a really good boyfriend. I would consider myself to be kind, I've got a good job, I've been told I'm handsome and I am in great shape. I've read some posts on other websites where guys were basically saying you are damaged goods if your in my position and it really hurts. I've been surrounded by homophobia all my life (hence why I stayed in closet) and now I'm suddenly faced with this new bullshit/shame for not having come out sooner. Why are gay people so cruel to each other? Aside from all this I intend on making my 30's the best decade of my life. I'm finally comfortable with who I am and I intend on shamelessly recapturing the years that I've lost. Most folk still think I look about 21 so I guess that's a plus. Has anyone else here been in a similar situation? Would love to hear your thoughts!! Many thanks! Gary
Yep. My friend told me that he would never date someone who has never dated before, which made absolutely no sense. Personally, I don't give a damn whether you've dated or not. It's such a trivial thing. As long as you're a good person and I feel like you match me, then I'll be all for the relationship.
Hi Gary, I am your age and in the same position as you are. At the end of the day everybody is damaged goods - no one is perfect and we have to make the best of what we have. It is no use looking back and thinking about what could have been. I like your goal of making your 30s your best decade and that's the best way to approach life - by looking forward and not back.
Utter nonsense what others say about lack of experience. Damaged goods? Those that think so are full of damage themselves and are to vain, naive and egotistical to thing none the other. Your still young, have your entire life ahead of you. And as you say, the next decade will be the best to come, that's a great attitude!
Damaged goods, makes no sense to me. I look at your background as "Low Mileage." Don't listen to all the haters, way to much judging going on.
I agree with others here. You are not damaged goods...that's ridiculous. No one gets through life without scars of some kind...it doesn't make us any less valuable or lovable. Heck, I was a repressed, abused housewife when my current wife found me - that's about as damaged as it gets. It didn't stop her from seeing the value in me and loving me. You're fine. And soon, a guy will come along who sees that. Don't you worry. (*hug*)
Don't sweat the sex — it will come naturally to you, and you'll learn as you go along (just be sure to use protection). But also, guard your emotions. Don't give your heart to the first guy who comes along, unless, of course, he's The One (but that's unlikely!) Above all, have fun!
Thank you guys. Apologies late reply I lost my login password! I really appreciate your advice and I'm striving towards finding my perfect partner! I've just come to the realisation that at 28 I'm too young to be concerned about age. I'm finally letting go of my insecurities because they serve me no purpose!
