There's this guy who I think is gay, but I'm not 100% certain. He's in a lot of my classes and we're friends, but he'll be graduating college next month so I probably won't see him after that. I'm just very curious if he's gay because he does give off a slight vibe that he is, but at the same time he doesn't explicitly say it. I paid attention to his eyes, and his eyes did dilate when I looked at them...(which could be a clue). I also find him hot. Would it be wrong of me to ask him something like, "Hey dude, I'm just curious and please don't take offense, but are you gay?" It's also difficult to ask him because I'm still in the closet. It's like I have to mention that I'm gay no matter what his response may be just so it's not that awkward. What do you think?
As a half closeted lady, I too often wonder this. Do you guys have any interaction outside of class? Maybe you can find an excuse to hang out after class someday - a beer, coffee - homework help? I wouldnt necessarily ask right out but theres ways to go about it. Like asking: "have you ever dated a girl/boy who did _?" And seeing what the response is. odds are he'll answer with the gender hes interested in. Does that make sense?
We usually work on homework together outside class, but we also do it with a few other guys so it'd be difficult to ask him when about 4 of us are working on homework together. But I get what you're saying. I agree that it's probably better for me to ask him if he's had a girlfriend or if he's currently dating or something like that in a casual way instead of being blunt and ask "Are you gay?" That way he won't be offended (if he's straight) and I can still stay in the closet .
If you are interested, you could see if he wants to go out for a cup of coffee/beer/etc. He might ask if it's a date, which would probably be a clue that he is, because a straight guy isn't as likely to think you are asking him out on a date.
no its not rude but try to phrase it in a way that would be subtle or try to ask questions regarding LGBT+ things such as the gay marriage law
If you're gonna ask him, you've gotta be willing to disclose. If nothing else, you can up your out-count to 3. I mean, really, what are you going to say if he answers yes? "Uh, really? I was just wondering ... um, that's nice"?
Yeah, you need to be willing to fully come out once he answers the question, and I'd say you should be willing to come out even if he says no. It's an awfully odd question to ask just for the hell of it, or at least that's how it would seem to me.
Quite simply I would ask him if he has a girlfriend, if he answers no, you can always ask if he has a boyfriend? Always with a smile. - J
Or you could be out right and just ask him out on a date. I mean, it's not like you're selling your soul to him by asking to go out to dinner. And well, if he says yes, then I guess he's gay/bi/some variation. Of not, well, just shrug it off and smile. If he is leaving in a month or so it's not like he can do you much harm. Sorry, I'm a direct approach just get it out in the air kind of person. If you aren't, the the people above had some splendid, more subtle, ideas.
