What is my sexuality?

Do you ever try to think about real life men as if they might be attractive? Sometimes we suppress attraction to certain people so much, that it can take work for us to realize they really are attractive.

 

Studies show both men AND women attend to attractive female strangers more than attractive male strangers. Presumably for different reasons: women are said to see them as rivals or to compare themselves against them. So noticing attractive women but not feeling desire for them is normal straight behavior.

If that is the case, If I were you I'd try dating a man and see if it just takes a while for you to turn onto them. If you are noticing women -with desire- then try dating a woman or a man.

 

I think it's difficult to say what your sexuality is from what you've said so far. Is it possible that in real life situations you've trained yourself, consciously or unconsciously, not to see the men you meet as sexual objects? When you're talking with a man in a non-sexual context, do you ever wonder what he might look like naked? When a good-looking woman catches your eye, does she catch it because she's good looking, i.e., she stands out from the crowd in a way that you appreciate objectively, or does she catch it because you fantasize going to bed with her? Most importantly, when you're alone and you fantasize about men, do you do so in a sexual way, i.e., do you fantasize seeing them naked, touching their bodies, having sex with them? Do you ever fantasize about women this way? I think the answers to these questions might narrow it down.

Speaking just for myself, I've always considered myself gay, and I've always fantasized almost exclusively about men. When I have fantasized about women, it's always been within the context of a woman having sex with a man (and it's always somewhat forced — I really have to make an effort to be turned on, and then it's usually by the idea of the man having sex with the woman, not the other way round).