Hey y'all, I am a full member, woot woot! So send me a private message anytime! First time use of banana here: (!) In other news My girlfriend had a dream that I got pregnant with someone's baby. I didn't know who was the father. In her dream, she agreed to take me in and care for me when no one else would. I asked her what she'd do in real life if that happened and she said she'd have to do that to take care of me. Awwww Later, I asked my husband if I had an illegitimate baby would he take care of me and the baby? The answer is that marriage would be over. finito. He may have laughed in my face... So, is that the answer I am looking for? Whoever would support me unconditionally? No one needs to respond to this nonsense I'm just working through some stuff here.
While I never like to see a marriage end, that lack of obvious support speaks volumes. You may want to talk to him again and be clear that you are serious... I know that would be a terribly hard thing to deal with as a husband... But if you love your partner you can and will deal with a lot of hard things. Imo. Sorry if this sounds somber, but if he couldn't support you in that what would he do if someone breaks your heart? Just a thought.
Just seeing this now... Wow, ouch. That's harsh. Well, I agree with Sammy Tan on this one. It's just a silly dream, but the reactions are telling. I think you probably already have your answers, but you are not ready to act on it quite yet, for whatever reason.
Just responding to your announcement - me too! Just got my full member status today! Yippee!!! (!)(!)(!)
Same thing. I'm looking forward to that full member status. Guess it's just a matter of waiting a little.
Re. Full membership applications... It normally takes 4-6 weeks to process the membership applications, but it can sometimes take a little bit longer if the staff team (we are all involved) have a lot of applications to consider. As things stand, we are looking at a fairly high volume of full member applications. We try to look at full member applications in the order they are received, so if you have been waiting for over 4-6 weeks, it probably means you are near the front of the queue. You will definitely be informed of our decision, either way.
Gah! I want to be a full member but for some reason I did not apply. How did I overlook that? I just read the application and it says you need to post across the forum, not just in one area. I'm fairly addictively active in later in life but nowhere else . So does that mesn I can't be a full member?
Some members do gravitate towards certain areas of the forum and we understand that. You can still apply, but it would help if you are able to contribute elsewhere from time to time. Remember, some threads in other areas of the forum are very much applicable to later in life members too, so it's definitely worth taking a look around. The main thing is to not always post in fun and games or chit chat, because EC is intended primarily as a place for support.
Back to the original post. Rachel, I'm thinking you should also consider the context. Your husband has had to absorb a lot. This may not be the fairest way to find out if someone is supportive or not. That said your girlfriend sounds pretty amazing.
Also... don't mean to sound negative... but you don't KNOW what either of them will do until they are in that situation. You may find she would run, but he would stay. It's a hypothetical and they only tell you so much... Although, no doubt, it's a sweet thought on her part and not such a nice reaction on his part.
Rachel...why are you so scared to leave your husband? Is it money? You frankly don't seem to love him or enjoy sex with him very much.
I am afraid. If I toss him away that makes me heartless, when he is so eager and willing to work with me, change, and accommodate what is happening into our relationship. She's a lure out of my current life, but it's not her fault. This thing she unleashed inside me, whatever it is, isn't coming from her, it's coming from me putting others first for so many years. I feel like either choice I make I'll regret it in 10 years, so it pisses me off. Sorry for the rant!
