In my way right now to an LGBT meetup. This is the first time I'm going with potential interest in meeting women. How does one do this? How does one talk about them self, a married woman, out looking to meet women... I mean I won't intriduce myself that way, but I'm wearing my wedding ring. I feel weird taking it off. I'm nervous about a million other things, but what kind of basket case will I seem to be, woman with a messy life out trying to meet women...? (For anyone who doesn't know my bsckground, this is with my husband's agreement, not cheating).
I would take off your wedding ring before you get there. You are in an open marriage right now. That's who you are and representing otherwise will waste your time and theirs. You may only have a narrow window to explore, so explore.
Yeah I did. I have been realising though my life is so centred around mom/wife. I guess I just don't have to talk about my life in that kind of detail. Just feels like I'm hiding part of me. I'm just nervous I guess.
Also, no need to volunteer your entire life history all at once. getting to know someone is a process. start off by listening to whomever it is you might start to engage with. when talking about yourself, start with easy stuff, where your from, where you went to school, what you studied, what interests you, current events, etc. The fact that your married, etc, is not a discussion you need to have with someone just as you meet them.
I'll echo the advice given so far. I tend to be an open book and explain way too much about myself to everybody that I meet. I think there's something to be said for relaxing a bit and being honest without spilling everything. If for some random reason somebody asks if you're married or whether you're single or not, I'd say be honest. But then that's just the part of me that gets really tired of lying about things.
Yeah don't lie. I wasn't saying lie---just don't put yourself forward as a traditionally married person because you aren't right now. If someone asks be honest like "I'm in an open marriage" "or I have a wonderful daughter; her dad and I aren't together but still live together for the moment." I actually thinking through what you WiLL say will help you define it.
You guys are making me realise how neurotic I sound (feel) . Onthehighway, good reminder to calm down , I'm getting way ahead of myself... I guess I just tend to say "we" a lot unconsciously (we moved here for my husband's job, for example...) :/ stuff like that comes up easily. I need to train my brain to say "I" and think in those terms I guess. COS, I am such an open book too. I just have almost no filter. But you're right, honest doesn't have to mean "say everything!" ---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2015 at 10:06 AM ---------- Good idea, I'm going to write out things I can say...
I want an update! I am just going to assume it went wonderful and that is why you haven't posted an update yet
Sorry guys! I was going to update last night when I got home but I spent a lot of time cuddling with my daughter to help her sleep, she's not feeling well. The event was nice, but not really much opportunity for romance , mostly platonic. It's organised by folks who create some safe warm spaces fr lgbt community, so a lot of people there seemed to know eachother, like a big family. The last (and only other) time I went to ive if their evrnts, there was one particular woman who I hoped I might see again, but she want there. It was a good space to be in, I'm sure I'll go back, warm comforting, welcoming. But I think I need to scope out some venues and meetups with more chance for romance if I want to explore in the limited time I have. I have a couple ideas, but I'm just not sure when I can logistically get the next chance to get out again to meet people.
Sorry guys! I was going to update last night when I got home but I spent a lot of time cuddling with my daughter to help her sleep, she's not feeling well. The event was nice, but not really much opportunity for romance , mostly platonic. It's organised by folks who create some safe warm spaces for the lgbt community, so a lot of people there seemed to know eachother, like a big family. The last (and only other) time I went to one of their events, there was one particular woman who I hoped I might see again, but she wasn't there. It was a good space to be in, I'm sure I'll go back, warm comforting, welcoming. But I think I need to scope out some venues and meetups with more chance for romance if I want to explore in the limited time I have. I have a couple ideas, but I'm just not sure when I can logistically get the next chance to get out again to meet people.
So is your goal to hook-up? Would that really help you figure things out, or would it confuse you further? It would be hard to develop a meaningful relationship if you feel rushed with a time limit. Being gay is as much about how you identify with yourself as it is about how you relate to others (male/female). Nothing wrong with a hook-up. I just wonder if that would help or hurt. Just something to think about.
No...not necessarily just hook up. You know, I don't know how to get what I'm looking for... Honestly, I think maybe this temporary exploration may not be something that allows me to actually explore. Because I want to be free to feel things and... Hookups aren't really my thing anyway. Who pits time into someone in my situation? I am feeling a little down today, so maybe that's colouring my response.
