Is it necessary to announce your sexuality?

Yeah, I know, but it's like, I hate Coca Cola, and whenever I'm at dinner with someone who doesn't know that, I have to tell them, or I'll have to drink Coke (which I won't), because that's what everyone else drinks.

I mean, I guess this doesn't really apply to your problem, but still. If you don't want to tell them, then don't.

 

My wife made that argument to me in a fight. "I don't talk about how I'm straight, why do you have to talk about how you're bi?!" I sort of see her point, but then again I don't. Because being queer puts you into more of a community than being straight does. Not that you must fit into the community, but it certainly is something that makes you feel a bit more accepted.

Honestly, I wouldn't post on FB personally coming out, but I'd love to be able to share articles about gay/bi life when I see interesting ones and be able to openly say why I find it interesting if anybody asks.

The only time I really go out of my way to say I'm attracted to men is when there's a hot guy listening, haha.

 

Well, if you are putting stuff on Facebook, I don't think anyone could assume you are ashamed of anything...so there's that.

But you are absolutely right...straight people don't have to announce to everyone that they are straight, so why should we? What does it matter who I'm sleeping with? I don't know who my extended family are all sleeping with, and I don't care.

I guess if you want to tell them, tell them. If you don't interact with them and don't care what they know, then don't sweat it. I don't think you need to make some big pronouncement, unless that's something you want to do. You may feel that you have worked so hard to get to this point of freedom that a pronouncement is in order...or, you may feel it is your private business and people can find out from you organically over time or when they ask. Either way is fine.

Hmm...I guess that wasn't much of an answer, was it? LOL

 

I don't think it's necessary to announce sexuality.

I haven't 'announced' anything to most of my friends / family (who honestly won't care) but as and when / if the conversation comes up then I just say I'm only interested in dating women. I haven't been with a man for well over 10 years -I'm not at all attracted to men- so it's hardly going to be a shock to them.

I'm not trying to hide anything or be closeted but I think until the time comes I'm actually in a romantic relationship it's not really necessary to start suddenly announcing out of the blue oh hey everyone I'm lesbian / gay now!

 

Total aside - I wrote a short one-act play in college called "Coming In," about a man who is about to be married to another man but reveals that he is straight. The whole reason I wrote it was because I thought it was silly that we have to "come out," and the whole thing is played as a joke (the mother blames herself for the son being straight since she let him play sports, stuff like that).

I remember the audience being pretty quiet for a bit of the play, I guess as they figured out the plot. Then I have the would-be-husband call the woman who has been sleeping with his fiance "Homo wrecker" and the laughter ensued. Every joke hit after that. I wish I still had the performance on video! Or the script somewhere at least. Ah well.

 

Oh well, you could definitely send this too: https://youtu.be/Orffm0v0mS0 ...!

 

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhNXxlMvo08[/YOUTUBE]

Send this in a mass email! :icon_bigg

...okay. I don't know why it's not just putting the whole video up.

---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2015 at 02:05 PM ----------

Haha, sorry, I deleted the original because I wanted the video to come up!
My friend sent me that song a few months ago -- definitely could use that too! :lol::lol:

 

I don't plan on announcing anything except to my kids and I don't plan on doing that til around xmas and it willbe a quiet convo. I hope lol.
As for everyone else? Meh.they can figure it out for themselves.

 

I have the same debate now. Because my family is huge and only half of them know. Theyre all coming for the holidays to visit and I dont know whether to tell them or wait until I have someone to introduce to them... My mom is dying to tell everyone too. She's always like: "so can I tell people youre gay now?". Im like "mom i dont even know what I am. Give me a break to figure stuff out." But if anyone asks or inquires, I just say Im not straight.

I think it's best to let them organically find out when you get a girlfriend. Straight people dont come out, why should we?

 

Gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gaaaay. Gaaaay. Gaaaay. Gaaaay. Gay gay gay gay gay.

Grace is the best. Lol.

 

It's the gay roller coaster that gets me. Every time.

 

I think there is a difference compared to not announcing if you are straight. Everyone ASSUMES I am straight and that feels uncomfortable to me. I want to wear a sign that says "not straight"! I just started a new job last week and of course everyone is asking about husband and kids, and as I have both I am immediately straight to everyone.

But maybe it's just the phase I am in of really coming out to myself, and wanting to tell the world. Once you are comfortable with it and don't have all the baggage of lies anymore, then I guess it is different. I'd like to get to that stage!

 

I find this so funny, personally, because I work with my (now out) gay husband. He worked with these people long before I did, and when he came out, several people were like, well - I thought it was bizarre when I met your wife! One of our newest people even said that when I mentioned I was married to him that her thought was - he's not the first gay guy I've known to have a wife. He came out about a month after she started...

It's easier for me, I think, because I never announced that I was straight, so being bisexual - so what? Yeah, I was married to a man, and now I'm dating a woman and whatever. Nothing has changed - except your perception. But I completely agree that announcing your sexuality far and wide is not a necessary thing.

Unfortunately, because we live in a heteronormative society, when I say I'm dating - even to people who know I'm bisexual, the response is, how did you meet him? So, at that point, if they don't know, I have to decide whether to be open or to let them live in their heteronormative world. One person, who has been a great support through this whole process, who doesn't know I'm bisexual, actually asked - how did you meet this person? I loved that acceptance that I could be whomever I am with no assumptions. It was amazing. I wish we could all be like that and I'm working toward being that person as well.