I came out to my parents tonight! Before my husband.... It was really a great conversation. It lasted almost 2 hours before we went our ways for bed. My dad even told me that his first wife (before my mom and before us kids) was a lesbian. She told him and he chose to leave her. I had NEVER heard this before. I knew he had been married for like 6 months when he was 22 but I never knew who it was or any details. My mom asked lots of questions and even worried that she had somehow cause this to happen to me! They both seem to be really taking it in and they both want some time to think about any advice they could give me. My parents both want my children to be the main concern and priority, and of course they are and always will be. It can't be easy to hear your daughter is a lesbian. I am thankful that my parents are being as supportive as they can be during this tough time.
Congrats! If it's not too personal, may I ask how you started the conversation? I'm sure my family will be fine but figuring out how to bring it up and how to phrase it are stumping me. So any examples are greatly appreciated. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.
Wonderful! Glad to hear you were able to discuss this with them. Congrats on your bravery. I wish I could even IMAGINE having this conversation with my parents, but the way things are going right now, NO. No no no....I'm not even at home this Thanksgiving.
It is kind of a blur. We had just finished watching a show and my mom suggested watching another one. I said "how about we all just talk instead?". She was like "what on earth do we need to talk about? we talk on the phone almost every day!" Then I said that I wanted to talk to them about something that was really important to me and if they would just listen before speaking it would be really helpful. Then I told them. I felt like I was going to vomit the entire first part of the conversation. Once I had gotten it out (even before I knew their reaction), I immediately felt better. I feel like one of the knots in my stomach has been dissolved. I still have many more conversations to get through, but this was a BIG one and I am so glad I was brave enough to make this step.
Thanks. The one time I tried to tell my mom, I stood there like a deer caught in headlights, mute, and she asks me what was going on. I said "nothing" and walked away. I didn't even get to the vomit stage. Which sounds mighty enjoyable, by the way. Something else to look forward to.
There's always the vomit feeling/very nervous part before the words come out. When I was trying to find a way to tell my mom--because I felt like I had to. I was driving myself nuts trying to figure out my sexuality, and realized that a big part of it was because I felt like I needed to choose and know before I could tell her--, I went to the beach with her. We spent a really nice day together. And even though she loves me like I'm the best thing since sliced bread, the man she was in a relationship with at the time always said really homophobic shit. I knew she didn't feel that way, but a part of me didn't feel safe because of it (she's not with him anymore. Woo hoo). So I was about to tell her when we were about twenty minutes away from the house. And it's crazy she couldn't tell, but I was tearing up and partially hyperventilating under my sunglasses. So all I could get out was, "what's the worst thing I could do that would make you like disown me." And I was slightly crying. She's a lot more oblivious than I'd previously thought. Especially because I was even with my trigger crush in front of her one time and I was convinced she was wondering about us. She even was like, "she's cute." When I came home that night. And I was like, "want her number?" Anyways. I couldn't tell her that day. But I was going so nuts that I decided I would tell her when I got home from work a few days later. So we went for a drive, and I was extremely dramatic. I said, "I need to tell you something, and it may really shock you, so I need to know if you can receive shocking, upsetting news while you're driving." And she goes, "OMG! Did you get fired!?" ....smh... I'm like, no. I didn't get fired! And I sat there for probably an entire two minutes saying nothing and just being in my head for a second. And she was like, "what is going on!!" And I said, shakey and teary, "I just want you to know. That there could be a chance in the future. Of me dating a girl." And she simply went, "okay." Then we talked about my trigger crush, and I told her everything that went on and how I'd never felt like that about another person. At the time I was just so afraid she was going to think that I was a freak, because I'd always date guys, and when people go off of stereotypes, I'm not someone who visibly appears gay. she also was asking if she did this!! Haha. I was like, yes mom. We're very close. And that made me a lesbian. It was all those nights sleeping in your bed. Now we joke around about my sexuality. Telling her was probably one of the greatest things I did for myself. And I know how lucky I am to have such an open minded parent. I do not get parents who freak out and disown their children because of it. So I am lucky. But it is intense to say it out loud, especially to someone so close to you. I'm happy you did it and had a good response! And I hope the same for you too, Really!
Congratulations, I hope that the rest of your coming out continues smoothly for you. Your parents are a blessing.
YeahpIdk, thank you for sharing your story! You are right that it is never easy to say the words out loud. I thought about writing my parents a letter but this was much better I think. I am still just barely dipping my toe out of the closet. It will be a long process and I still don't know that divorcing my husband is what I want.
YeahpIdk, thank you for sharing your story! You are right that it is never easy to say the words out loud. I thought about writing my parents a letter but this was much better I think. I am still just barely dipping my toe out of the closet. It will be a long process and I still don't know that divorcing my husband is what I want.
Good job! I'm happy they are so supportive! Make sure you are REALLY clear with them who they can and cannot tell.
